Olivia O’Brien on “love and limerence”, unfaithful exes and warning signs

“I feel like I’m going to quit music this year and live on a ranch somewhere,” 24-year-old singer-songwriter Olivia O’Brien wrote on Threads in July 2023. One year later: Although O’Brien has temporarily traded the Los Angeles skyline for the more tranquil views of Nashville, Tennessee, she hasn’t given up on music… yet.

On June 21, O’Brien released her latest project, a five-song EP titled Love and Limerence She wrote it while living in Nashville, inspired by her experiences with dating and heartbreak. “I’m a person who often gets stuck in love,” she tells Elite Daily. “(The EP) is about unrequited love, obsession and the unattainable side of love. I think that’s something a lot of people can relate to, and that’s definitely my experience with dating.”

O’Brien has long incorporated her own love lessons into her songs, writing the famous 2020 track “Josslyn” about her ex Logan Paul. Although she admits she’s never had a relationship that lasted longer than six months, she’s in no rush to find the right one. “I always say no dating until marriage,” she jokes. “I enjoy being single, probably more than most people.” Still, she has one hard and fast rule when it comes to new relationships: No more cheaters.

Here the pop singer speaks openly about her experiences with bad breakups, her dating life as a bisexual woman and the analysis of her birth chart.

Elite Daily: Your first single on the EP, “glimpse of me,” is about self-development and moving on from a relationship that’s not good for you. Can you tell me a little about the inspiration behind the song?

Olivia O’Brien: I wrote a letter to someone I’d been in an on-again, off-again relationship with for a long time. I never meant to send it to him, but I just wrote down everything I’d always wanted to say to him, including “You only caught a glimpse of me.” I felt like he never saw who I really was, only saw through his eyes what I could have been. He pigeonholed me as the shy, fragile girl and never got over it. I felt so unappreciated and uncared for, and so this song is my love letter to myself.

ED: The song “blip” is about how you can love someone with all your heart and still mean nothing to them. Was this song written about a specific person?

OO: Not really. It’s just something I’ve experienced time and time again in my relationships. I’ve always felt like people meant a lot more to me than they did to me, and that I was just someone they could throw away while they were everything to me. That’s been the case in pretty much every relationship I’ve ever had.

ED: What do you do to heal after go through a separation?

OO: Not me. I never get over anything.

ED: That raises the question: What is your zodiac sign?

OO: I’m a Sagittarius, which doesn’t make sense in this respect. I’m not a relationship person – you’d think that would reflect my music, but all of my songs are about relationship situations. That’s the Sagittarius in me.

I also have a Cancer moon, so I get really sad and emotional, and I have a deep desire to be loved. My Venus sign, which represents the way you think about love and relationships, is Libra, so I idealize and romanticize relationships a lot.

Period, that’s clear. Scammers are the worst.

ED: We need to talk about your Coachella 2022 set, where Logan Paul left the room with a sign that read, “It wasn’t worth it.” What did it feel like when your ex admitted so publicly that he had made mistakes?

OO: He didn’t admit anything. We just thought it was funny, and we were still friends at the time. I thought it was a hilarious little prank. I had just broken up with another person and I wanted to tease him a little bit. So I thought, “Oh, I’ll just call Logan and have him come over.” I knew my ex would be there, and I just thought it was really funny.

ED: Do you have any advice for someone who has been cheated?

OO: It’s never your fault, ever. Beyoncé was literally cheated on. Often times, someone can’t handle being with someone who makes them insecure. That’s why a lot of the coolest, most awesome people get cheated on because their partner can’t handle it. You just have to move on and realize that person sucks. Period. Cheaters are the worst.

ED: Would you ever give a cheater a second chance?

OO: No. Hell no. Never.

ED: What was the worst date you ever had?

OO: I moved my age range up on Raya because I hated everyone and hadn’t had a good date in a long time. I wanted to see what the older men were doing.

I saw this guy and it seemed like we had so much in common. He rock climbed at my gym and loved Greek mythology. He was 36, a writer, and he seemed perfect. I went out with him and he was the most arrogant asshole I had ever met in my life.

I told him to his face, “You’re arrogant. You’re an asshole, you’re a wanker. You think you know everything.” But he liked that because he was so selfish that he thought I was flirting with him the whole time. He asked me if I wanted to go get some ice cream afterward and I had to run and get away from him. I wish I could have recorded the whole thing because I’ve never met a more horrible man in my entire life.

ED: Speaking of warning signs… is it a warning sign if they are still friends with their ex?

OO: It depends on how long ago the relationship was. Especially in the queer women’s community, this is the most common thing in the world. Everyone is still friends with their ex.

If a guy is friends with his ex and it’s been less than five years since they broke up, I think that’s weird. And how close are they? If they’re close, no. If they’re friendly, that’s a sign. They don’t want them to hate each other. Hate is the closest thing to love; it means there’s still something going on.

ED: What do you think about To make the first step on somebody?

OO: I’m so bad at it. That’s the hardest thing for me about dating women. Men are constantly on the hunt and it’s easier because I can say, “OK, okay.” I’m really scared of rejection and I also just have zero desire. When I actually envision a future with someone or think that this person is really cool, I have a very hard time acting normal.

ED: You’ve obviously dated people in the celebrity and influencer world, but would you ever date a fan?

OO: The problem with being online is that people develop a parasocial relationship with you. Even people who aren’t necessarily fans of mine have preconceived notions about me, and that’s a big problem when it comes to dating.

Even if you’ve seen every interview and done all your research, that’s not an accurate picture of me. So I have to say, no, I can’t, because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I would love to date a person who has no idea who I am, who lives in the woods and doesn’t use social media. That’s the dream.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.