“I had problems on Love Island because of my race.”

If you had told me three years ago that I would have the title of Love Island Even though I already had a winner under my belt (which is considered honorable and prestigious), I would have thought this was almost impossible for someone like me.

For a reality show whose format revolves entirely around dating and abandonment, you might think that the biggest fear would be love rejection. Luckily, I’m well-informed on this issue from my real-world experiences.

When I look back on my first foray into reality TV and my Love Island Through my experience, I recognize how the environment reinforces an already existing fear that I can hardly admit to myself: I am not as good as a white person.

When you’re caught between colored plexiglass and intrusive neon signs, you start to wonder: “Doesn’t anyone want me because I’m Asian?”

Around the third day, I had a conversation with another POC islander where we wondered if our race made us less desirable in the villa. But nothing is really just “in the villa”. Ultimately, it is a social experience and everything that happens in Love Island is a reinforcement of real behavior.

The contestants of Love Island Australia in 2021 (Tina, second from right). Image: 9Now.

Everyone who enters the Love Island villa has a certain amount of anticipation of how they will be perceived and fear of rejection. But I can almost guarantee that every person of colour who walks through the doors of this villa is wondering if their race will be the reason they leave the villa alone.

That doesn’t mean it’s true or will happen, but it’s damn sad to even think about.

The Love Island The environment is best described as a pressure cooker. Emotions are heightened and one is forced to form social bonds quickly, which is both a human instinct and, for some, a need for more airtime.

Love Island brought to light a conversational thread that had been lurking in the corners of my mind: I have more difficulty finding love because of my race. I don’t think I’ve ever had this feeling before.

Tina Provis is ready to talk about her experiences in reality TV. Image: Instagram/@tinaprovis.

Love Island has made these thoughts clearer, but this isn’t just a reality TV thing. I dare say this plays out in the lives of POCs every day, on dates and in social situations.

It shows up for me when I date in the real world.

My cousin once arranged a blind date for me and she told the guy that I was on Love Island. I am embarrassed to admit that my first thought was that I would disappoint him as I expected the typical image of a Love Islander to be a blonde, all-Australian girl – not true or the case of Love Islandbut my personified insecurities.

I grew up in one of the whitest areas of Sydney (no statistics here) and that alone based on the fact that my school was over 80 percent white (a bit like reality TV) caused me to have prejudices against myself and it took me years to start breaking that mindset.

I believe that by admitting my feelings, I am getting closer to my identity, losing my insecurities, and, more importantly, helping just one more person feel like they are not alone.

Growing up, I was always looking for faces I could identify with, from my favorite TV shows and movies to my school. When you don’t find representation, you eventually stop expecting to find any, and that’s when people start to doubt their place and worth.

Just as a lack of representation can impact growing up, having more POCs in the media can make a huge difference for young people looking for faces that make them feel seen.

And while I joke about the honor of being a Love Island Winner, I am grateful that through my experience I was able to be this for some people.

This article originally appeared on Tina’s Instagram and has been republished here with full permission.

Cover photo: Nine/Instagram/@tinaprovis.

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