I LOVE YOU…

The very first words I can remember hearing came from my mother. My cousin Miles died of cancer when I was about three years old. My family, especially my uncle and father, were hit hard by his death. Soon after Miles’ death, my father began telling me more and more frequently how much he loved me. I often wondered if my father knew something about my future that I didn’t. Would I die soon, like my cousin Miles? Oddly enough, as I write today, I remember the last time I spoke to my father and he told me he loved me. If I were to count all the times my mother, siblings, and even my ex-wife told me they loved me, I wouldn’t come close to the many times my father told me he loved me. One day, I received a phone call telling me that my father had died. I dropped the phone and fell hard to the floor, suffering a massive heart attack. I lay on the floor, unable to breathe, and as I lay there, shaken to the core, I could hear my father’s voice one last time:

“I love you.”

Since my father’s death, the words “I love you” have taken on much greater meaning and power for me. I now understand how delicate our lives are; we never know when our last moments will be. Now, like my father, I look at the people I love most and have this insatiable desire to express my feelings for them with just three words – “I love you”.

I have never been to jail and it was all because of my father’s love. My father was good friends with the sheriff who ran the county jail and my father arranged for me to spend about 35 minutes in jail. The trick was that my father had a meeting with the sheriff and the only safe place for me was to wait in an empty jail cell. After my father and the sheriff left me, a really tough looking guy stepped outside my jail cell and asked me why I was in jail. I told him I had done nothing wrong and was just waiting for my father. He cursed and called me a liar. A second inmate asked me who I had shot; this really bothered me because I was only ten years old.

“I didn’t shoot anyone!”

Again I was called a liar.

A third inmate asked me if I had stolen a car. I shook my head as if trying to understand that these men are all crazy. Not much later, my father and the sheriff came back and I noticed that they had big smiles on their faces. My father asked me if everything was OK. I couldn’t wait to get out of this trap!

Outside, my father asked me if I was hungry and we got in the car and drove to a restaurant called Howard Johnson’s. We both sat down and ordered hamburgers, fries and Cokes. I saw my father pull out a tissue and wipe his eyes. He looked deep into my eyes and began to speak slowly, almost in a whisper.

“Charlie, the place we just left is a shithole if ever there was one. I’m telling you, son, you never want to end up there. I hate this place. They feed you worse than a dog. They tell you when to go to the bathroom, when to eat, when to sleep, and when to get up. Charlie, if you ever go to jail, I’ll take all your stuff and put it on the front lawn. Me and your mother will not let you back in our house. Me and your mother can help you get anything you want, but stealing and robbing will not be tolerated. Do you understand me, son?”

I nodded in agreement, but was completely shocked.

Shortly after my dad and I had lunch, my best friend came up to me and asked if I wanted to go for a drive with him in a car he had just stolen. I told him that was out of the question, but my friend persisted and then asked me if I was scared.

I told him I was scared.

My friend laughed and drove off quickly.

Well, as you can imagine, my friend was pulled over by the police and arrested for car theft. Unfortunately, almost all of my childhood friends have criminal records. I really wish more fathers would tell their sons how much they love them and teach them that prison destroys so many opportunities that lie ahead of them. Fathers should tell their sons how much they love them as often as possible. Life will be more beautiful for everyone involved when we can just say the simple words to our family and friends:

I LOVE YOU.