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Am I unlucky when it comes to love?

Am I unlucky when it comes to love?

I have even been to psychics who paid perhaps a lot more than the average person and have had aura and karma clearings done because I thought maybe there was something bad floating around me. I keep seeing signs that indicate something is coming (angel numbers) but luck never comes. However, I am very successful in my career and have a good work-life balance.

My question is: am I doing something wrong? In my opinion, I meet all the requirements and I even gave up trying to find someone to see if they would find me. It’s been over a year. I’m happy to hear your opinion and would love to know what you think.

BAD JUJU

A. I do not believe that we find love when we not seek.

It helps get the work done. After a year off, give yourself permission to scroll, swipe, and connect with new people.

I can’t tell you why you haven’t found a serious relationship, but maybe it’s because you’re looking for a committed relationship immediately. Maybe your process is more about finding good company and having fun. Sometimes something casual and less pressured turns into something more.

Some apps are also designed to help people build stronger relationships. I haven’t used Archer (I’m not the demo version; it’s for gay men), but the description on the App Store says “find the one.”

It feels empty to advise you to be patient – ​​because you have been – and I know you are frustrated. But these things can take so much time.

Try to enjoy this time as much as possible. It sounds like you have a wonderful life (job, friends, interests, etc.) So I don’t think you are unlucky at all.

By the way, I’m sure some people here will tell you to stop focusing on the stars, aura cleansings and numbers. I say do what feels good, is fun and is useful. Just don’t spend your entire paycheck on it.

MEREDITH

READERS’ RESPONSES:

You sound like a very goal-oriented person, and that might be part of the problem. You don’t go from being single to being in a committed relationship by following a concrete plan. You do it by continuing to meet people and seeing if/how you build a connection with each of them. It’s a messy, uneven process. And even if you’re “successful” by building a long-term relationship with someone, maintaining and growing that relationship is a whole different story.

TERMINATER5

There is no outside, cosmic force working against you, letter writer. You are experiencing what most in the dating world experience, which is a lack of success until you suddenly find success. But I agree with Meredith that it’s time for you to get back on those apps and actively dating. To be happy, focus less on your end goal of a “serious relationship” and more on enjoying the dating itself. You meet new people! Try new restaurants/activities! Hear new anecdotes! Collect new stories to laugh about with friends later!

REAR SEAT DRIVER85

“I keep seeing signs that something is coming (angel numbers), but the happiness never comes.” That should be a BIG sign that this is all nonsense. It’s either going to happen or it’s not, but if you rely on a false sense of hope based on random cards or numbers, you’re going to continue to be disappointed.

-ALFA-

Send your own questions about relationships and dating to [email protected] or Fill out this form. New episodes of Meredith Goldstein’s podcast “Love Letters” can be found at Show love letters or wherever you listen to podcasts. Columns and comments are edited and printed by boston.com/loveletters.