Long-distance boyfriend cancels wedding for the second time

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a long distance relationship for 11 years. I love “Roger”. He is a hardworking, decent person. He says he loves me too. We got engaged three years ago and set a date for this year.

Roger called it off, but he still wants to be with me. He put our wedding on hold after we had a fight. He told me he couldn’t marry me if I acted like that. Abby, he’s exaggerating the fight. He’s my best friend and is always there for me when I need him. He lives two hours away. When I had a flood, he came to help me. He couldn’t even see very well. (He had gotten shingles two days before my flood.) No matter how sick he was, he drove all the way to help me.

Roger has his own construction company. He renovated my kitchen and bathroom and did many other things for me. This is the second time he has postponed our wedding. I can’t imagine life without him. Should I stay with him? Should we break up? I would really hate to date anyone again. Do you think he will marry me? – TEMPORARY IN PENNSYLVANIA

PREFERRED TO WAIT: You said Roger lives two hours away. Did you drive those two hours to be with him? If not, maybe it’s time to do that, because he may have another romantic relationship closer to home that he would have a hard time getting out of.

From your description, he seems like a caring person, but there must be a reason why he refuses to make a commitment. Until you get honest answers from him, marriage is unlikely. If he is unattached, marriage counseling may help calm his fears.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.