Morgan Freeman’s AI Voice, Boating Etiquette, A’Ja Wilson’s Cake & Bears Do Summer

Don’t even pretend to work today.

There are less than 48 hours until the Fourth of July and the long weekend that comes with it. Right now, you’re probably sitting at your desk dreaming about all the beers you’ll drink, the hot dogs you’ll eat, and the fireworks you’ll set off. (Please, don’t let us lose any fingers this year.)

It feels like just yesterday we rang in the New Year. And now look at us… we’re already halfway there! Ready to celebrate America’s birthday.

And if you’re not in the Independence Day spirit yet, I’ve got just the thing for you. Turn up the speakers, take off your hat, and put your hand on your heart. Uncle Pappy will have you smoking two-fisted Miller Lites and singing Lee Greenwood while riding a bald eagle into the sunset.

So, I’m fired up. Grab a bombshell and a cold drink. It’s Nightcaps time!

Do you follow proper “boat etiquette”?

The heat is tough in July in most parts of the country, and there’s no better place to escape it than the water.

Maybe you don’t have a boat. I don’t either. My husband says it’s too much work. He likes to repeat the old joke: “The two best days in a boat owner’s life are the day he buys it and the day he sells it.” (No, he’s not 80 years old. He just talks like that sometimes.)

But if you’re lucky, you have a friend or close family member who has a boat – and that really is the best of both worlds. You can enjoy the open water and feel the wind in your hair without having to worry about the expensive maintenance and constant headaches. But if you want to enjoy someone else’s boat, you have to follow their rules.

There’s a guy on TikTok who calls himself “3 Finger Guy.” It’s a very clever and subtle nickname that alludes to the fact that he only has three fingers on one hand. I don’t know what happened. Maybe fireworks.

What he lacks in fingers, he makes up for with a great watercraft on the Ohio River. He has also started a series of videos explaining proper etiquette when being invited onto a boat.

As he mentioned, that was only part 1. He follows up with a series of videos detailing all the do’s and don’ts of being a boat scrounger, because “there’s a lot of crap you land dwellers need to know.”

You probably don’t have the time or attention span to watch a dozen of his videos, so I’ve done you the favor of summarizing his rules in a handy list. You’ll soon be the best boater on the planet!

3 Finger Guys Boating Rules:

1. Don’t do anything stupid that will spoil my fun.
2. Arrive on time and be ready to depart.
3. Don’t ask when we’ll be back on land. You just have to go by my time.
4. You don’t owe me gas money unless you expect me to drive your kids around on an inner tube all damn day.
5. Bring your own drinks – but only things that come in cans. Leave your “favorite IPA that only comes in bottles” at home.
6. If you ABSOLUTELY MUST bring your favorite cocktail, prepare a large batch in advance and pour it into a plastic carafe.
7. No Jell-O shots.
8. Drink enough.
9. Wear appropriate footwear because it is hot on the boat deck. Wear sandals or boat shoes. If you wear Crocs, I will make fun of you for “looking like an idiot”.
10. No chocolate, Cheetos, BBQ chips, berries – “If it can stain your hands, it will stain my upholstery.”
11. No dips.
12. No small snacks like Chex Mix or popcorn that you can eat by the handful and scatter everywhere.
13. Don’t bring bananas. That’s an old boating superstition.

That’s a lot of rules for something that’s supposed to be fun. But as someone who’s overprotective of the interior of my beige car, I kind of get it.

Nevertheless, I have to say that I am behaving like a stupid boat guest.

One time I was invited to go on a sunset yacht cruise in San Diego. It was an outing for the board of a dog rescue organization, and you know I love rescued dogs, so I was on board. Anyway, there was a little delay waiting to board, so we were told to get a drink at the dock bar.

I don’t mind doing that.

If you’ve read my Nightcaps before, you know I’m a Miller Lite girl. I also enjoy a good Old Fashioned (emphasis on GOOD). But my true love is red wine. A delicious Malbec, Cabernet, or Australian Shiraz is heaven for me in a long-stemmed glass. And hey, I’m going on a fancy yacht…that seemed appropriate.

I climb into the boat and sit near the front to get a good view. Immediately a man approaches with a look of pure and utter disgust on his face.

“You brought RED WINE?! On a YACHT?!” he says to me as if I were the biggest idiot in idiot land.

So, excuse me, skipper. I don’t spend much time on yachts, so I didn’t know the protocol.

He grabs the Cabernet like I’m a kid and storms into the cabin. Rude, but OK. I guess I’ll get up and find a beer once we’re at sea.

But then he comes back with my wine… in a plastic cup… with a lid and a straw.

Red wine?! On a YACHT?!

(Photo: Amber Harding)

He pressed it into my hand and rolled his eyes. The sippy cups were apparently all gone.

The guy didn’t have to be such a complete asshole, but I get it. If I spilled it, the stuff would ruin the upholstery. BUT – If you don’t want people drinking red wine on a boat, then don’t sell it on the dock. Not my fault.

Besides, a small red wine stain is better than what happened here:

Boat owners, get in touch: Is 3 Finger Guy a little too much of a control freak or is he right? Am I an idiot for bringing Cabernet on a boat? Did he forget something? Email me at [email protected] and let me know.

Bears make summer

Enough of my ramblings about boats, let’s take a moment to enjoy some bears living their best lives between hibernation periods.

Firstly, a very polite and gentle bear who somehow manages not to burst the flotation device with his huge claws. 10/10, would invite him to my home.

This is more for the hot tub type. It’s good for sore muscles when you’re sore from working hard all day.

This seasoned veteran looks like he’s already struck a time or two.

Here’s Yogi helping himself to someone’s picnic basket. I guess that’s why they say you should keep your coolers INSIDE your car.

But if you’re driving a golf cart, you’re out of luck anyway.

I wonder what his handicap is? I would love to hear from this bear at the next presidential debate.

A’Ja Wilson takes the bird

Pride Month ends at the beginning of July. And A’Ja Wilson has found a unique way to celebrate.

It’s no secret that many WNBA players are lesbians, so every year the Las Vegas Aces star buys a special cake to celebrate her teammates’ sexuality. A little weird, but hey, whatever you have to do to support your friends.

Anyway, this year’s cake is… a blast.

(Instagram: @aja22wilson)

The predominantly pink cake has the words “Hooray, you gay” written on it and is decorated with rainbows, disco balls and… scissors. OK!

“Every year I gift my proud teammates a cake for Pride Month,” A’Ja wrote on her Instagram story. “This year’s cake was top notch and just right for them.”

I don’t have much to add. Good for them. But if you’re like me, you can’t even hear the word “scissors” without thinking of it. South Park Episode in which Mr. (excuse me, Ms.) Garrison becomes a lesbian.

Morgan Freeman calls on TikTokers to steal his voice

So far we’ve jumped from boats to bears to gay cakes and now Morgan Freeman. That’s what makes Nightcaps truly magical.

There’s a TikTok influencer named Justine… Actually, I don’t know what constitutes an “influencer.” All I know is that she has way more followers than I do on my humble little Chinese spy app account. No, of course, this isn’t a shameless advertisement to get you to follow me so I don’t look like a loser.

Back to Justine. She claims to be the niece of legendary actor and voice of God Morgan Freeman. A few weeks ago, she posted a video describing “a day in the life of a Nepo niece.” And guess who played the narrator?

MORGAN FREEMAN HIMSELF. Be careful.

Only she’s not his niece, and that wasn’t Morgan Freeman at all. It was an AI voice that perfectly mimicked the Oscar winner’s iconic baritone. The whole ordeal is both impressive and terrifying. And it fooled EVERYONE. The video went viral.

But Morgan wasn’t happy about it. So he criticized the TikToker for “unauthorized use” of his voice. She eventually deleted the video.

“Thank you to my incredible fans for your vigilance and support in exposing the unauthorized use of an AI voice impersonating me,” he wrote on Facebook. “Your dedication helps ensure that authenticity and integrity remain our top priority. I am grateful.”

Imagine publicly upsetting Morgan Freeman.

In a follow-up video shared on Sunday, Justine defended the use of the AI ​​voice, saying she was “having a bit of fun.”

“I just thought it would be funny, OK?” she said. “It’s obviously a joke, but people have no judgment. I thought it was very obvious that this was a joke. And now Uncle Mo is mad at me. If anyone on his team is watching, I’m so sorry.”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to record a vlog with my uncle George Clooney.

Some fun things for the road

I already know you’re rested and ready to enjoy your long holiday weekend. Have a little laugh before you head out.

Wishing you a safe and happy 4th of July, Nightcaps family.

And don’t forget to drop a new Womansplaining video tomorrow at 12pm ET! When you’re out on a boat, sipping red wine and munching Cheetos, you can always bookmark it for later.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column that appears Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at [email protected].