A 22-handicap player competed against the 667-yard “monster” of the Firestone Country Club.

June 28, 2024

I took on the monster.

I’ve made it over sand, sea, air and grass (both long and short). I’ve experienced pretty much everything it has to offer and lived to tell the tale – well, just barely.

Hi, I’m Ryan. Nice to meet you. I have a 22 handicap when it comes to golf. That basically means I’m not great, or maybe more average. The normal average for a male handicap is often 13 or 14, so of the people who keep an official handicap, I’m about 8-9 strokes above that, although not many people keep their handicaps until their scores start to drop into that range.

I have no ego when it comes to my golf game and enjoy the ever-evolving process of improvement. To give you an idea of where my game is at, I recently broke 90 for the first time in many years, shooting an 87 at Mallard Creek, which was a pretty outstanding day for me and a nice personal milestone.

But at heart, I’m someone who could be completely crushed by a very, very difficult golf hole.

So meet the monster: the 16th hole on the South Course at Firestone Country Club, where the 2024 Kaulig Companies Championship will be played next month and where Tiger Woods played his dominant role for many years.

The name “Monster” is, well, apt. It’s a huge golf hole, even for professionals. Today, when fully extended (or when this monster stands on its hind legs, you might say), it measures an almost ridiculous 667 yards. It’s a winding fairway peppered with sand bunkers and trees, leading to an approach shot over water. In other words, it’s a golf hole that looks more like a shark’s mouth, lined with countless rows of teeth.

In other words, it’s downright mean when someone like me tees off. I’m not armed with a 340-yard tee like others are. That’s not nice. That’s cruel. It should be some kind of crime if it’s 667 yards and yet somehow it’s only a par 5 instead of a par 7 or par 8, which would offer some mercy. But no, this hole is unforgiving.

It is also great fun to play and a pleasant challenge, embedded in the nature of a pristine golf course.

Technically, the entire hole was 666 yards long when it was extended in 2003, but they didn’t want to associate that number with the course, so it’s now listed as 667 yards. But does a yard really matter at that distance? It’s a long, long way.

I had the pleasure of playing Firestone’s South Course as part of the media day leading up to the tournament next month. We played most of the day from the white tees, which basically just means that the course presents a challenging but fair obstacle for some amateur golfers as it is much shorter than the course that will be laid out for the tournament.

But on the monster 16th, we played the tips, meaning we teed off exactly where the pros would. Could we have taken one of the longest golf holes in the world and played just the white tees on No. 16? Sure. But that doesn’t end up being the same level of entertainment when you see what would happen to an average guy like me.

As expected, I got beat up (but had a fantastic time).

The monster has messed me up in every way possible. The course is in excellent condition as always, but luckily the greens are still manageable. They won’t get faster for a couple of weeks. That would have caused us even more trouble.

Now, before I get into the carnage that occurred for me at No. 16, I should mention that this all happened on a day where I thought I played pretty well for my level/handicap (just to set the stage as to where I was at level of play).

Overall, I shot a 97, which is a good day for me on a course like Firestone. I also hit one of the best shots of my life on the par-3 15th hole, hitting an 8 iron to maybe 6-7 feet and then sinking the birdie putt (my only one of the day). So I headed to the 16th tee, ready for the challenge ahead and feeling good about my swing.

When we walked to the 16th tees, there were markers back there showing where we should tee off. But those were simply the farthest tees that had been set up for the day, and for the course members and guests — those were not the championship tees that will be seen at the Kaulig Companies Championship. So we had to walk another 30 or 40 yards until we were at the very back of the tee. I can’t give you an exact location because I wasn’t sure if we were still in Akron.

Oh, and to make things even more fun, we played against the wind – you know, just to make the task at hand even more fun.

And then, standing at the top of the ridge and seeing the endless challenge ahead of me, my golf-centric swinging kicked in. And boy, did it get ugly.

Ryan Lewis of the Akron Beacon Journal plays the 16th hole of the Firestone Golf Club’s south course, nicknamed “The Monster,” in Akron on Monday.

I grew up playing baseball and like many people, I often struggle with a pretty severe slice (where the ball bounces hard to the right) with my driver. This problem is especially common when I try to swing too hard.

And when you know you’re almost 700 yards from the hole, how can you mentally block that out and just swing nice and easy? I couldn’t. I’m sorry, dear reader, but I wasn’t strong enough to resist the temptation to sink the ball.

My swing was OK, but I couldn’t avoid the slice. I ended up in the rough on the right hand side, between the trees, after a drive of about 200 yards, which is a bit short for me, but not bad. It’s playable, so I’ll take it. After all, it’s a long way, so I wasn’t too worried about being perfectly positioned for the next shot, as long as I could get a good swing.

Oh no. I actually didn’t swing properly.

Once again I fell into the monster’s trap and swung too hard, causing my second shot to slam into a fairway bunker. That was the first time the monster sank its teeth into me.

Being in the sand at this point could have been a real disaster, but I actually managed to make great contact to get the ball back on the fairway. Phew. We’re back on track after our little beach trip.

I was back on the fairway and had one of the best views of the entire course as the rest of the hole winds down to the water and the green. But I was still a long way from the actual hole. There is a sprinkler head at this point that says “JUST HIT IT,” a joke for anyone who asks how far they are from here to the hole.

The idea here is simply to make a nice, easy shot into the fairway landing area to set up your final approach over the water.

And, oops, I totally missed that ball. The way the trees are arranged, you want to stay a little left as you approach the green, which is protected by water in the middle and on the right – I went exactly right, back into the rough and between the trees. The ball was on me. I lifted my head up a little too early (probably mentally trying to see it too early to see where it was going) and took off with the club.

Ryan Lewis of the Akron Beacon Journal plays the 16th hole of the Firestone Golf Club’s south course, nicknamed “The Monster,” in Akron on Monday.

OK, growing a hybrid here was a bit aggressive, but we didn’t come all this way to play it safe, did we?

Fortune favors the brave, or so I was told.

From this spot, along the right side of the rough/trees, there isn’t much of an angle to the green. The water juts out to the far right, so the only really safe area is to the left. So I tried to hit a hybrid as close to the water as possible for an easier chip.

I made a pretty good swing, but didn’t hit it far enough to the left. At the very end of the water, almost safe, I saw my golf ball disappear into a watery grave. If it had gone a few feet further to the left, it would have been perfect. But the monster is cruel, calculating and unforgiving. I’m convinced the course designer knew that one day I would hit it right there, so they had to extend the water area a few more feet.

By this point, I had already covered the sand, the rough and the water, all in the same long stretch from our tee box that felt like a four-mile hike back up the ridge.

So after having to “drop” for the sixth shot, all I had to do was make a chip shot onto the green, and the water was still an ever-present danger. Fun! Not intimidating at all! It’s easy to see why so many hit several balls in a row into the water.

I was almost surprised that I didn’t send another ball into the depths of the lake, but chipped it onto the green, where it rolled just a few feet into the fringe on the other side. But with the worst of the hazard behind me, I could wipe the sweat from my brow and breathe a little easier – unless I accidentally chipped my ball from the other direction over the green and back into the water.

OK, luckily I didn’t. I chipped the ball just short of the hole, but we were finally on the dance floor.

Ryan Lewis of the Akron Beacon Journal plays the 16th hole of the Firestone Golf Club’s south course, nicknamed “The Monster,” in Akron on Monday.

After an arduous march of nearly 640 meters, during which I suffered bruises, bloody wounds, blows, and had to overcome grass, sand, trees, and water, I reached the green. I was still standing, but a little wobbly.

This is where I landed a shot on the monster. Luckily, I only needed one putt, sank a putt of about 8 feet, and finished the hole in nine. The monster landed shot after shot, but I was able to walk off the green feeling like I landed a shot on the way down. (Or at least that’s what I tell myself. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)

To walk away with a 9 on the scoreboard is honestly a win for me. It could have been a lot worse. Paul Bonderson in 1962 and Curtis Strange in 1986 both shot 10s on the 16th hole at Firestone.

The 16th monster has stood the test of time and still torments every poor soul who dares to defeat it. I was unable to defeat this monster this time, but I survived and can tell the story.

Count your days, monster. We’ll meet again. And I’ll probably roll a 10 or 11 this time and miss a few golf balls. But it’ll be fun either way.

Ryan Lewis can be reached at [email protected]. Follow him on threads at @ByRyanLewis.