Stop the elections! Just make Taylor Swift prime minister – POLITICO

We have already had the EU elections, which to a large extent starter before the all-you-can-eat buffet of the French parliamentary elections and the UK elections.

We already know the result in the UK. It will be the North Korea of ​​the North Sea (with Keir Starmer as Kim Jong Un). The comparison is more apt than you might think, because Rishi Sunak is about as strong as the North Korean opposition. That hasn’t stopped the election from being quite entertaining, thanks in part to numerous betting scandals. The strangest of these was Labour candidate Kevin Craig’s bet that he would lose. In an excuse we might generously describe as desperate, Craig said he made the bet to raise money for charity.

Also on the brink of defeat are many Tories we have come to know and love (and by love I mean we enjoy making fun of them), such as Michael Gove (who is not seeking re-election) who, as you may recall, once turned up alone at an Aberdeen nightclub in the classic clubbing outfit of suit and tucked-in shirt. Gove was described by one reveller as having enjoyed “a couple of good shandies”.

On the ballot paper, but far from retaining his seat, is the Haunted Pencil himself, Jacob Rees-Mogg. Earlier this year he criticised Liberals who “drink skimmed milk with their faux leather sandals”. If I were Dan Norris, the Labour candidate who could beat Rees-Mogg, I would turn up on election night with a pint of milk and sandals on my feet.

In France, Ladislas Vergne receives top marks from the Republicans. Angered by the far-right Rassemblement National’s parachuting of a candidate into his constituency, he decided to jump out of a plane with a parachute.

Rumours that Emmanuel Macron plans to do the same without Parachute – to prove what a cool risk-taker he is – were unconfirmed at the time of going to press.