Family feuds are not just reserved for the rich and famous

But it seemed as if history was repeating itself: After a spectacular argument with her father, who had controlled her finances and her life for years, her two sons publicly avoided her, criticized her parenting skills and refused to even respond to text messages.

However, the frost is reportedly beginning to thaw after a Mother’s Day phone call between the singer and her sons Sean (18) and Jayden (17) raised the possibility of a reconciliation.

Family disputes aren’t just reserved for the rich and famous, and as everyone knows, a simple argument can spiral completely out of control, leading to siblings no longer speaking to each other or adult children refusing to speak to their parents. It can lead to months, years, or even decades of pain on all sides, with one or both parties refusing to make any effort to resolve the situation.

Sheila McBride* knows only too well how this feels, as she herself has been involved in family disputes over the past five decades.

“My husband has four siblings and it was clear to me from day one that he was the black sheep of the family,” she says.

“His sisters were always dramatic, bossy and self-centered, while his younger brother emigrated to America at the first opportunity. When I got married, we moved into the house and took over the management of the farm together.

“But over the years there were always arguments about something to do with running the house and looking after his parents. The sisters didn’t help us, but they had an opinion on everything we did.

“Then when my in-laws died within two years of each other, things got really bad because my husband inherited the farm. There were family meetings where his older sister took charge and said that everything should be divided between them all because it was totally unfair that they were left with ‘a pittance.’

“The three girls were all doing very well, either because they had their own careers or because they had married into wealth, and we were barely getting by, so it really didn’t make sense for them to get so upset about everything.

“Legally they had no chance because it was in writing, but my husband, who has always been a quiet man, was very upset about it and felt he was cheating his siblings out of their fair share.”

After the will was read, there were several months of unrest. This led to a breakdown in communication within the family and, according to the woman from Tyrone, this made life very difficult for her husband.

“The whole thing devastated him and he wanted to try to make amends with his sisters,” she says.

“But apart from selling the house and farm and splitting the proceeds, there was nothing we could do to appease them. I was more angry than upset, as I couldn’t believe they actually felt they were owed anything – he worked there day and night all his life, while the rest sauntered abroad, only coming home once a year and being treated like kings by his parents, while we footed the bill for all the food and drink they consumed while traveling.

“The sibling feud has spread to the next generation and none of the cousins ​​speak to each other anymore, which I find really sad. As children they played together and now that they’re adults they don’t have any time for each other at all. I don’t know what they’ve been told, but it’s like they see us as greedy or evil or something, when in reality we haven’t done anything wrong at all.

“I know my daughter tried to build a bridge with her aunt and cousins, but that didn’t end well, and when she met with them, the situation quickly escalated. When they asked about us, a few nasty comments were made, and my daughter decided she didn’t want to hear about it, so she told them what she thought of them and left.

“I find it very sad that people can decide not to speak to a family member and then carry that with them for years. My husband died two years ago and none of the sisters came to the funeral – I will never forgive them for that.”

Michael Harrison* has also experienced family disputes. When people don’t talk to each other and communication breaks down, a situation that could have been small turns into something big, he says.

“My mother and aunt don’t speak to each other and haven’t really done so for decades,” he says. “They’re both very temperamental and opinionated – but as sisters-in-law they got on well when they were younger. However, after a fight over two decades ago, no doubt fuelled by too much wine, they fell out.

“My father and his brother tried to keep things normal, but since they (the aunt and uncle) lived abroad and men are not particularly good at keeping in touch, several years went by without the two couples really speaking to each other. They met at Christmas or family gatherings, but the two women were always quite artificial with each other.

“Then one summer my sister came to visit and I’m not sure what happened as there are always two sides to a story and we only heard one, but she apparently got into an argument with my aunt – and that made an already awkward situation even worse, so my mother wrote them a very harsh letter which was really the nail in the coffin for the relationship.”

The 45-year-old, who lives in Belfast but is originally from Scotland, says he worked hard to reconcile with his family and managed to reunite his father and uncle, albeit only for a short time, before his father sadly passed away.

“It was so great that the two of them spent time together before my father died,” he says.

“My uncle lived in Germany (where my aunt is from), but he came back several times, both alone and with her, and everyone got along well. It seemed like it took an impending tragedy to bury the hatchet.

“After the funeral in 2018, things were going well between both families for a while, but it wasn’t long before my aunt and my mother fell out again. I don’t know why, but my mother says my aunt just ‘went back to her old ways.’ I don’t want to get involved because I want to keep the relationship open.

“So now we have a situation that is totally abnormal and stressful because I am in contact with my aunt and uncle and their sons, who are my age. My mother and I argued about this when I visited her last year and she was angry about it.

“She says I have to decide where my loyalty lies, but I think that’s ridiculous since I have nothing to do with the argument, whatever it is about. I told her that and she said it’s up to me, but I would be jeopardising my relationship with her and my sister if I was disloyal to people who ‘only think about themselves and what they can get out of other people.’

“Obviously, I don’t want to bring more arguments and drama into my life and my mom is very stubborn so I know it doesn’t take much for her to snub me too so we just don’t talk about it. I’m still in contact with them but I never mention anything about them to my mom and vice versa as it’s not worth the consequences.

“The situation is stressful and actually quite ridiculous, but I am faced with the choice between my father’s only brother and my mother and I am not prepared to make that decision.”

*Names have been changed.