Since moving to the Cowichan Valley just after 2000, I have pursued a variety of careers – kinesiologist in a physical therapy clinic, personal trainer, nutritionist, owner and manager of a care service for 15 years, and now business coach for entrepreneurs who want to become well-rounded individuals. Looking back, each role has pushed me in this direction.
I turned 50 this year and yet I feel like I’m just getting started. Starting a new business during the pandemic has been a huge challenge.
I hate to admit it, but I also feel like I’ve missed the boat in some ways. I see young entrepreneurs in their 30s driving really nice trucks, hauling boats to the lake, taking time off, having beautiful young families, doing things with their kids. Sometimes I tell myself that they have it all. That they made better choices, worked harder, made better decisions, saved better, did better, and now they’re enjoying all the benefits before they’re even 40.
And then I stop. I’ve been here long enough to know that this is just my monkey mind playing tricks on me and kidnapping me.
Most business owners have the same mindset: They look at other people’s lives who seem to have everything together and wish they had the same “great life.” Social media is based on this feeling.
This is all nonsense. All the jealous thoughts that go through my head are 95 percent nonsense.
But because the voice in my head is my own—or at least wants me to believe it is—it’s so easy to believe it’s the truth.
If you can relate to this in the slightest, whether you own a business or not, it is completely normal. You are tricked and driven by the voice in your head. The thoughts that control you.
Your mind is either your best friend or your worst enemy. Most of the time, it is your worst enemy, research shows.
A trainer I met recently at a retreat summed it up very well. She worked for years at Microsoft and said of the executives she worked with there: “95 percent of the executives I worked with were overwhelmed, overworked and burned out! The other five percent meditated.”
It touched me deeply to hear these words from her. I started meditating. To calm my mind more consciously. To slow down my thoughts. To let them float away and to keep only the smart ones.
When I struggle with jealousy, doubt, or frustration some days, I now remind myself that my path is my own. And that I must continue to pursue my dreams, my service, and my best life. That not everything in this life is meant for me.
That doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying.
A wise coach once told me, “It’s not the end result that matters, but who you become in the process.” I want you to think about this quote.
Who will you become? Someone you are even more proud of.
And if you have an active mind, practice calming it down, perhaps by focusing on your breath for minutes? That’s good work. I’ll keep focusing on that. Will you feel more at peace with me?
Chris Wilkinson is a business coach who works with entrepreneurs who want to better realize their potential and live more fulfilling lives. For more information visit www.CoachingWithChris.ca or email Chris at [email protected]
