A psychologist reveals the 5 types of “new love” – which one are you?

Every relationship is unique, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t certain relationship patterns or “types.” Take, for example, this 2021 article published in Family relationshipswhich identifies the following five categories of new romances:

1. Happily consolidated. This type of relationship involves relationships that are characterized by a high level of warmth, support, and mutual devotion. Partners in these relationships spend a lot of time together, share many aspects of their lives, and are likely to consider marriage.
2. Happily independentThese relationships are characterized by high relationship quality and emotional intimacy, but the partners retain a high degree of independence. They spend less time together than happy couples and value their personal space and autonomy.
3. Exploration. Relationships in this category are generally less serious and more casual. Partners are still exploring their compatibility and are less likely to form a committed relationship or see a long-term future together.
4. Plugged. These relationships feature negative interactions and low satisfaction. Partners may feel trapped or unable to make progress, often leading to frustration and dissatisfaction without clear paths to improvement or separation.
5. High intensity. This category includes relationships characterized by intense emotions, both positive and negative. Partners in high-intensity relationships experience strong passion and conflict, resulting in a rollercoaster dynamic that can be both exciting and exhausting.

The researchers determined these categories by surveying 396 adults who were in a romantic relationship but were unmarried.

“Romantic relationships in young adulthood vary in their relationship dynamics, emotional and physical intimacy, and commitment,” explain the authors, led by Jonathon Beckmeyer of the Indiana University School of Public Health–Bloomington. “Our goal was to identify a typology of romantic relationships in young adulthood based on several dimensions of romantic relationships.”

The researchers found that “happily settled” was the most common of the five relationship categories, with about 31% of couples falling into this enviable group. “Stuck” was the second most common group, followed by “happily independent,” “exploratory,” and “high intensity.”

The researchers view the category “happily independent” as a stepping stone to the category “happily stable.”

“Adolescents in happy, independent relationships strive to remain open to the possibilities that arise from developing other areas of their lives outside of their romantic attachments, such as maintaining close friendships and pursuing academic and professional opportunities,” the authors explain. “We speculate that happy, independent relationships may transform into happy, stable partnerships over time.”

Those in the “stuck” category tended to have the longest relationship duration of all five groups, despite being ambivalent about their relationship. Respondents in this group said things like, “I spend a lot of time with my partner, but it’s unlikely we’ll ever get married.” Not surprisingly, people in this category reported more depressive symptoms than those in the “happily independent,” “happily settled,” and “exploring” groups. They also showed higher relationship cycling, suggesting they may be caught in a protracted attempt to end the relationship.

The researchers suggest that therapy might be a good option for people in the “stuck” or “high intensity” categories, as they are likely to have deeply ingrained relationship patterns that require intensive and individualized intervention. On the other hand, people in the “happily stable,” “happily independent,” and “exploratory” categories might benefit from collaborative, couple-based relationship education—programs that focus on strengthening relationships by building and maintaining intimacy, learning to resolve conflict, and planning for the future.

“Providing relationship education resources to emerging adults in positive, committed relationships can support the investments and commitments they have already made to their romantic relationships,” the researchers conclude.

Not sure where you stand in your relationship? Relationship satisfaction scale for a scientifically based answer.