My coughing fits cause social anxiety

Dear Eric: I am over 70 and have suffered from occasional coughing fits for several decades, triggered by talking too long and/or too loudly. When these fits occur, I literally cannot speak or stop coughing for several minutes. I have been to several doctors but have not been able to get a clear diagnosis or effective treatment.

My closest family and friends understand the problem, but I still find it embarrassing, especially when it happens to people I don’t know well or in public.

When I speak to others, should I warn them at the beginning of the conversation that I may start coughing and need to stop the conversation, either by hanging up or walking away until the coughing fit passes? If so, how should I explain it? I don’t want to tell them my medical history and I don’t want them to think I’m sick or contagious.

– Curious cough

Dear curious person: Every body does weird things from time to time. I’m sorry your body is doing something that’s causing you to have social anxiety. I understand that a persistent cough may bring up questions, comments, or other unwanted reactions, especially in a world still grappling with the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic. There’s nothing wrong with having a cough; it’s just a matter of figuring out how to best care for yourself and your community.

To reassure people, you can tell them, “Just so you know, I have an illness that makes me cough sometimes. It’s not contagious and nothing to worry about, but I don’t want you to think I’m rude if I have to leave suddenly. Thank you for understanding!”

You do not do that have to do so. But you may find that it reduces your anxiety and sensitivity about the subject.

When you tell others about your cough, don’t think of it as an excuse to have a body, but as information that will help them Make the conversation a more pleasant and less stressful experience for you.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

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