We are love experts. That’s why Generation Z is giving up monogamy

The dating app Feeld was founded in 2017. Since then, the app has seen an astonishing 966% increase in members who express a desire for polyamory or ethical non-monogamy.

With polyamory on the rise, especially among young people, HuffPost UK spoke to three love experts to find out more about why Generation Z is abandoning monogamy. Our experts are:

• Dr Natasha McKeever is a Lecturer in Applied Ethics. Her areas of expertise are philosophy of love, philosophy of sexuality, applied ethics and ethical theory. Natasha co-directs the Centre for Love, Sex and Relationships (CLSR) with Dr Luke Brunning.
• Dr. Luke Brunning also specializes in philosophy of love, sex and relationships; applied ethics; ethics; philosophy of emotions; moral psychology
• Dina Mohammad-Laity, VP of Data at Feeld

We discussed the rise of polyamory and what monogamous couples can learn from non-monogamous couples.

Mohammad-Laity said: “Generation Z’s move away from monogamy is a mix of circumstances. We’ve seen a major cultural shift in recent years when it comes to relationships and commitment.

“For Generation Z, this change may be accelerated by the fact that, as digital natives, intimacy has taken on different forms depending on their needs. Monogamy as the only option may feel outdated and inappropriate to them. Maintaining relationships online is an important part of their relationship design.”

Mohammad-Laity revealed that internal research at Feeld found that Generation Z is more likely to be non-monogamous and single compared to Millennials and Generation X. With 48% of Generation Z identifying as LGBT and non-cisgender, they are also the most flexible generation at Feeld.

She added: “They are much more open to relationship structures outside of monogamy, which was much more socially anchored in previous generations.”

McKeever and Brunning said: “Ethical non-monogamy is more visible today than it used to be and is more widely portrayed and discussed in the media – both in more traditional media and on social media.”

The experts stressed that, given the generally more fluid work and life patterns, it is understandable that younger people are more open to changing norms because their values ​​are less entrenched and they are therefore more used to trying and doing new things.

They added: “In addition, they may have witnessed their baby boomer parents’ relationships fail or get into trouble and learned that existing relationship norms and practices are not appropriate.

Generation Z is often accused of being “puritanical.” Does non-monogamy disprove these accusations?

Mohammad-Laity said: “The notion that Generation Z is “puritanical” is challenged by this generation’s significant interest in non-monogamous relationships.

“On Feeld, about a quarter of our globally active members cite polyamory or ethical non-monogamy as a desire, with Generation Z representing the fastest growing member base on our platform.”

She added that Gen Z membership on the dating platform has increased by 20% in the past year alone. Gen Z is the generation most likely to be outside the gender binary and explore different types of relationships.

“This growth is a sign of their open-mindedness and willingness to redefine traditional norms. Our introduction of the celibacy “The Desire Day, which resulted in a 175% increase in social media engagement, further highlights the wide range of desires and fluidity that appeals to members of Generation Z.”

McKeever and Brunning said: “It is not clear whether Generation Z is ‘puritanical’ – for example, they seem to be much less heteronormative than previous generations and probably also know more about sex and relationships than previous generations of young people.

“And if it seems that Generation Z is having less sex than previous generations, that may be partly because people are more open and accurate in surveys about how much sex they really have, rather than because they are actually having less sex.”

The experts also stressed that it’s possible to be non-monogamous and still have less sex overall, especially if non-monogamy allows for other types of intimacy that are important to people. So if Generation Z is leaning more toward non-monogamy, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re having more sex.

Mohammad-Laity said: “The best thing about a relationship is the connection we build with another person.

“That’s what we want to offer at Feeld – a space for meaningful connections. And we’ve also found that through new experiences, people not only broaden their horizons, but also get to know themselves better. And that applies to all types of relationships.

She added that accepting constant evolution, whether we are in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, allows us to accept each other for who we truly are.

“Monogamous couples can learn from non-monogamous relationships by encouraging open and honest communication and vulnerability. By asking questions and remaining curious about what moves and affects the other, couples can maintain a deep, adaptable and resilient bond.”

McKeever and Brunning said:

A lot. For example, you can learn:

• Honest and open communication and that there are different ways to show love and commitment. Talking openly about the complexities of life and relationship goals

• The need to challenge societal norms and understand their impact on our mental state and emotional capabilities. The decision to be monogamous should be a conscious and reflective one, not just the default option.

• Flexibility in arranging domestic and practical matters, more creativity in caring for and raising children

• Distinguishing between disappointment and the feeling of having been treated unfairly in a relationship