The Feminist Book Club is back with Freya Bromley, author of “The Tidal Year”

Against the backdrop of a beautiful sunset on the roof of AllBright Mayfair – a club for women run by women – the Feminist Book Club welcomed Freya Bromley, author of The tidal yearwhich was shortlisted for the Nero Book Awards 2023. The evening – with its welcoming and inclusive atmosphere – featured heartfelt conversations about dealing with loss, grief and female friendships between Freya and Joelle, the book’s editor, Rebecca, co-founder of the book club, and the members of the club.

The book is a memoir of Freya’s struggle with the loss of her brother and is essentially about the healing power of swimming. Soon after her loss, Freya and her friend decided to swim in every tidal pool in the UK. As someone who lost touch with swimming a few years ago, it was heartwarming to hear Freya speak so lovingly about swimming and made me want to jump back into a pool straight away!

Freya describes swimming as bravery – it’s about the cold water and putting the phone down. She says: “It’s silly and a shortcut to childhood. You don’t actually have to swim, you just sit and waddle your feet, move your body and have silly fun.” The book club members agreed and talked to Freya about the “silly fun” of being in the water.

When answering questions about her brother, Freya shared how difficult it was to deal with the loss. She found it strange that her peers talked about it, and they were afraid to ask, “How are you?” She also discovered how isolating grief can be, and she clung to friends who had also lost siblings. Of processing grief, she says, “It’s unprocessable; you keep doing something that makes you feel good, but it doesn’t get better.” Freya found that nature helped her get rid of many complex feelings.

Part of the book is about female friendships and how we tend to neglect platonic love – getting letters and flowers from friends can mean a lot to us too. At the same time, she said candidly that love cannot exist all the time – “We don’t love each other all the time”. Sometimes we have arguments, upsets and no communication – if you love someone, you have to tell them. Complexity in relationships is ever-present. Basically, you don’t argue unless you love each other.

Freya spoke about writing a memoir and publishing a book that contains stories about the family. There is the book, and on the other side there is the unvarnished reality: “You just had to experience it.” She had to have important conversations with her immediate and extended family; she had to get their written consent. Joelle spoke about the dangers on the “business side” – the family can sue for misrepresentation in a memoir. Because a copy of the book is always somewhere in the world and always in print, you have to be extremely careful.

Writing a book about grief also changed Freya’s attitude towards her body. The cold water was like a warm hug and the water held her in her loss. In a pool, you don’t get a chance to think or communicate too much. When the emotions are all over the place, water is a connection; something that isn’t pain. In this way, Freya found swimming was a great way to channel her anger.

In addition, swimming also provides safe places. Freya talks about tide pools, particularly in terms of their history and conservation, as many of them are places where generations of people have learned to swim from their grandparents or elders. In certain places in the UK, people have fought with the community, raised money through golf courses and more to preserve these tide pools. The landscape’s connection to the water is like a connection to their families across generations; it is precious, priceless.

Through swimming, Freya met lots of new people. She realised that you can discover yourself through the people in your life – friendships and relationships define who you are; you change as a person when you meet someone. In fact, she finds the highlight of promoting her book is meeting people and building a connection with them. The experience of meeting other people is very spiritual – the fact that she is grieving the loss of her brother is out there; everyone knows, even if it isn’t talked about. This connects readers and Freya on another level – knowing without speaking.

Freya says her writing process is very poetic and involves a lot of recording and observation. There are incredible details and this is possible because she takes pictures, keeps a diary and takes lots of notes. The weather in the book reflects a lot of her emotional state, in typical British fashion! Also, the year Freya lost her brother was the most important for her grief – she found that intense human experiences heighten our sense of reality. By putting herself at the centre of swimming and her life, she found herself on the pages. Water provided a canvas for her to paint her story on.

The book club members were deeply involved in the Q&A and asked lots of interesting questions. After the discussions – and after Freya hinted at what she was working on next – Freya signed copies of her book and the club took a group photo (of course!). The Feminist Book Club clearly plays an important role in providing such spaces in London – not just for people to discuss literature, but also to make new contacts, meet authors in real life and possibly be inspired to start writing themselves.

After an evening of fun, relaxed, yet heartfelt conversation in the friendly and open environment of the book club, I left feeling inspired—maybe even inspired enough to dip my toes in the water and swim again.

The next Feminist Book Club event is with Krystle Zara Appiah at Harper Collins, via her – tickets available Here.

Tickets for the book club in June, discussion The glass bellare available Here for North London and Here for South London.

Follow the Feminist Book Club on Instagram to stay up to date with its events:
@thefeministbookclubcic

Edited by Lara Mae Simpson, Literary Editor