Column “Language of Wellbeing”: Play

Fun is a natural aspect of play, and it literally only happens during the “play” of the moment: when we are fully present, right here, right now, with our whole heart. And the joy we feel? It’s less about the concrete activity we’re enjoying than our friendly attitude toward it. Think of this as “play mode,” an inherent way of tuning in to who and what’s going on, which naturally invites happier experiences.

Yet by age six, most of us are no longer playing from memory. Instead, we replace it with performance competition, seeking recognition, approval, and control—a pattern that leads to the oft-quoted “work hard, play hard” ethic later in life. Real play, even with competitive elements, is always kind, imaginative, fun, and inclusive. When we stumble into the play zone, we fail to realize that the magic lies in the energy we bring to our activities, our openness, our trust, and the lack of “agenda.”

I started taking my acting seriously in 1978 during my first improv class. I was a professional singer, competing to stand out. When I couldn’t think of a word to say at a singing competition, I blurted out a frustrated four-letter swear word – another first for me. No one raised an eyebrow, and it was so liberating! I decided then and there to act with purpose. And to learn to direct improvisational theater (which I still love doing!), to learn to say “yes, and…” to life and creativity.

The decade between 1983 and 1993 saw a huge increase in my gaming IQ. It started with a buddy urging me to just “loosen up.” That became a ditty for my nightclub performances. As my career shifted toward the “love arts,” I explored the possibilities of enlightenment and relaxation. I decided to offer “gaming” shops instead of workshops, leaning toward the “lighter side of things.”

In 1989, a firewalker colleague challenged me to come up with an acronym that would clarify what creative play meant to me. The “Power of Loving and Allowing Yes!” then led to the founding of a small publishing company, PLAY House, which pioneered New Age playbooks for children.

Fast forward to 1993. I discovered Fred Donaldson, an international game specialist whose book changed me. Play became the “vision and practice of belonging.” It was a “universal language… the pattern that connects all living things.” As “natural wisdom,” it transcended ethnic, social, and gender differences, across all species. It merged time and space. It was the intergalactic dance, like the Hindu creation legend that tells of the deity Brahman bringing the entire cosmos into being in a wild, spontaneous act of supreme play. Wow. When the year 2000 came, I wanted to share my many insights, write a book, share my ideas about play as a spiritual practice. “The Tao Way of Play”j: Joy, Vitality, Originality and Connection for Life’, things came full circle for me.

I remember all too well what my life felt like before I learned to play with purpose: lonely around the edges. Trying to be successful, smart or clever, well-dressed or “nice” was never as fulfilling as being authentically myself and doing whatever it was for the sake of it. May you take your playtime seriously, too. Run the spectrum from loud laughter and exuberance (high play) to peaceful, quiet joy (deep play); and everything in between. Whether you’re dancing, playing tennis, daydreaming, telemarketing, or making up games with a grandchild, be a playmate. And appreciate all of your soul friends, whether they have fur or feathers, stems and leaves or bark, tiny or giant, made of clouds or sand or electronics, and used purely for fun and challenges.

At the core of play lies a kind, loving relationship – with ourselves, with each other, and with the world at large. This summer, enjoy your moments in the playful way only you can.

Radiant joy,

Marcia