My long-term girlfriend broke up with me because I couldn’t give her enough space

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I split up after six years. We both have children from marriages that ended seven years ago. A year and a half ago, we reached a point and started looking for a house together. When we realized we couldn’t afford the house she wanted for our blended family, our relationship became strained. The last year has been our worst. As she suffered from job loss and other outside influences affecting her mental health, I tried to offer her more support, but she felt smothered. Sometimes I try too hard to find solutions, even when she says she needs space. I haven’t done my part to give her space.

We had the best relationship of our lives and it makes me despair to see her suffer. She says she couldn’t give me what I needed in our relationship while I tried to be a good teammate to her in times of need. Now she says she’s broken because I didn’t give her space.

She is the love of my life. What do I do during this devastating and devastating time in my life? – DAZED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR DAZED: I’m sorry things didn’t work out better for you. You and your friend have very different communication styles. She wanted to vent and be heard. You felt pressured to find solutions to her problems. When someone says they “need space,” it often means the person is feeling pressured or smothered. It can also mean they want to scale back the relationship or maybe they’ve met someone else.

Your next step now should be a massive BACKWARDS. Increase your exercise routine, spend time with friends, and don’t sit around alone ruminating on something you can’t change. IF the two of you manage to get back together, I strongly advise you to seek couples counseling so that this heartbreak doesn’t happen again.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.