My cousin is in love with a woman he has never met… I’m worried

DEAR ERIC: I have a cousin who recently told me that he is “in love” with a woman abroad and wants to get married. He would have to fly to her country and get married there, leaving behind his son, grandson and mother, who lives in a nursing home.

He has never met this woman in person and I’m afraid the whole thing is a hoax. I found out that foreigners aren’t allowed to own property in their name in this country, so anything he would buy would only be in her name. What should I tell him? I don’t want to destroy him.

– Concerned cousin

DEAR COUSIN: You have every reason to be concerned. Love scams are pretty common. Often they start online, the scammers quickly profess their love, suddenly need money, and then disappear. It’s a big red flag that your cousin’s relationship requires him to leave the country and get married. I know you don’t want to destroy him, but he could be in real danger and a broken heart is the better option.

First, be upfront about your concerns and reasons. Use the FBI’s “love scam” section to explain to your cousin any similarities in his life. Ask him for photos of his fiancée and do a reverse image search using Google or another search engine to see if they are stock photos or if they are related to someone else. Ask him to explain to you his plans for his family, his mother’s care, and his post-wedding plans. Be curious but friendly.

Loneliness is a big problem for many adults, especially as we get older. Reassure him that it’s not wrong for him to want company. Tell him that just because it’s a scam doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love in real life. Remind him that he’s not alone. According to the Federal Trade Commission, more than 64,000 romance scams were reported in 2023, grossing $1.14 billion. These numbers don’t take into account the personal turmoil that can result.

Ask your cousin to slow down the relationship for his own safety and that of his family. If he persists and you still have concerns, you can also report the suspected scam to the FTC or the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.

(Please send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rricthomas.com.)

© 2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.