For over 100 years, Oregon Trail Days has been held in our area – a time of great tradition, celebration, connection and friendship. A time when family and friends come together again and again to have fun, renew connections, laugh and bond.
Mark Anderson
This time of connection and recovery is important. People look forward to this annual tradition and plan ahead to participate each year. Others prepare early by training for the annual five-mile run, perfecting their recipe for the barbecue kickoff, or tirelessly working on their beautiful quilt to display.
Rituals like these are important to our society and to our souls. Other traditions, like celebrating birthdays and Christmas, provide an equally good opportunity to celebrate, connect and refresh.
In the fast-paced modern world, where trends come and go so quickly and life remains hectic, these traditions are seen as beacons of stability and strength in an ever-changing and chaotic world. Just as “home base” was a safe place to rest when playing catch as a child, these rituals are times to look forward to, to rest, socialize, laugh, and build bonds.
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Happy couples have similar bonds that help keep their relationship strong and their love alive in this busy and chaotic world. These rituals range from daily greetings (like kissing each other when reunited) and bedtime routines (like going to bed at the same time or reading together in bed) to annual celebrations and shared hobbies.
Research shows that these seemingly mundane rituals are anything but – they form the backbone of a strong relationship by fostering trust, communication, connection and friendship.
This connection pays off even in times of conflict and stress, as these couples are better able to overcome challenges. These rituals serve as anchors, reminding partners of their devotion, love, friendship, and the good times they have during these difficult times… just not right now.
These rituals are meant to be something couples look forward to, not something they dread or are indifferent to. Over time, my wife and I have become addicted to various TV shows. After a long day, I always look forward to our tradition of cuddling and watching the latest show. This time of bonding, laughter, and connection always makes me feel better.
Other couples have a tradition of drinking coffee together in the morning before parting ways. Or walking the dog in the evening and talking about the day’s events. Even doing the dishes together after dinner can be a time of bonding and relaxation.
The key to making these rituals a success is to make them enjoyable and relaxing. If you love coffee, you can try different types of coffee or surprise your partner with a new coffee mug. If hiking is your tradition, you can take selfies together with beautiful sunsets as a background. Personalizing the rituals of connection is half the fun!
These bonding times are not for discussing relationship issues or difficult topics… unless you want your partner to not show up next time. Make this time fun, relaxing, and a place of rest and recuperation. A place of friendship and support.
As mentioned earlier, people who do this will find that these conversations actually go better when conflict arises. It’s as if the brain is saying, “Yes, I’m really mad at you right now, but you’re also the same person I was laughing and playing cards with the other night, so you can’t be all that bad.”
In a world increasingly marked by fear and uncertainty, marital traditions continue to provide a source of comfort and stability. Through daily routines, annual celebrations, and even shared hobbies, these rituals of connection strengthen emotional bonds and enrich the marital journey.
They protect us and our relationships from the growing chaos, hatred and disruption that prevails in today’s world. They become our “home base” where we find calm, friendship and support in an otherwise chaotic world.
Because of their importance, it is important that we do not neglect to establish and maintain these rituals. For a very small, pleasant investment, we reap enormous benefits by helping to keep love alive.
So grab your partner, look at the schedule, and plan some quality time together. And the schedule for the upcoming Oregon Trail Days might be a good place to start. For more tips on keeping your love alive, visit www.panhandlecouples.com.
Mark Anderson is a psychotherapist specializing in Couples therapy. He has a private practice in Scottsbluff and can be reached at 635-2800 or online at.
panhandlecouples.com.
