Should I tell my husband that my ex is in our motorcycle club?

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired and recently joined a Harley-Davidson motorcycle club. We both enjoy riding and are looking forward to many events in the coming months. At the first meeting we attended, one of my ex-lovers was sitting at the same table next to my husband. They seemed to enjoy the conversation. I kept a low profile and tried to ignore the situation.

I know we will definitely see each other at meetings and upcoming events. Should I tell my husband who this person is? I’m afraid that if I tell, it will spoil these events for us and cause problems. My husband has been taking medication for anxiety and depression for years. We are very happy together and I love him very much. — LET’S GO SOUTH

DEAR LET’S RIDE: There are very few people today who are not affected by some form of history. Tell your husband the truth. Believe me, he will surely be even more anxious and depressed if the situation comes to light before you can tell him.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a 70-year-old black woman who looks 45 or 50. I recently met a man online while playing dominoes. We’ve been chatting back and forth for about two weeks now. He’s 44, of German descent, and has a 9-year-old son. The problem is that he wants a relationship with me.

I told him I’m 26 years older than him, my kids are older than him, and I have great-grandchildren his son’s age. He says he doesn’t care about any of that. We’ve never met in person, but he invited me to come to Texas. What else can I say to convince him this can’t work? — NOT POSSIBLE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OUT: My goodness, you are really being attacked. Please take some time and get to know this person better. If you are still corresponding in, say, six months, you could show the age difference by accepting his kind invitation to visit and bring one of your children.

DEAR ABBY: An old style of hat that caused problems years ago is back. The brim is so large that a person sitting behind it in church can only see the back of the hat. It’s annoying to think that I had a good place to sit and then have to spend an hour just looking at that big hat.

It is inconsiderate to block the view of those sitting behind you. I hope you will mention this in your column so that women are reminded that these large brims are a problem at any gathering where people are expected to sit quietly and listen to a speech or sermon.

I move when I can, but this is not always possible, especially when the hat suddenly “appears” just before the service begins and it is not possible to find another seat. — BLOCKED IN ALABAMA

DEAR BLOCKED: Your point is well taken. I am happy to pass on your reminder to those who need to see it, but since we cannot control the behavior of others, you would be wise to get in the front row if you have the chance.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.