Mother goes on strike after experiencing a crisis with her husband
One woman admitted that she was at the end of her strength due to her husband’s lack of consideration and support.
In a post on the r/breakingmom subreddit, she claimed that her husband leaves almost all the chores to her and she is fed up with it.
She went on strike after her relationship with her husband reached a “crisis point.”
In her Reddit post, she explained that most of the problems she faces at home are because of her husband, comparing it to the life of a single mother with an inconsiderate roommate.
Even though she had a full-time job and was able to work from home while her husband worked just ten minutes from their house, she had to do most of the housework and childcare.
“Everything is on me. Grocery shopping, meal planning and preparation, cleaning, budgeting, bookkeeping, small repairs around the house, laundry, buying clothes/shoes… school, activities, homework, school trips… every little thing,” she detailed. The list went on and on and included things her husband could have taken care of himself but just didn’t want to.
Instead, her husband’s contribution was simply to work 40 hours a week and deposit his salary into the joint bank account. She pointed out that she envies her husband’s relaxed attitude when it comes to household chores and childcare. He comes home from work and only puts his dishes in the sink after dinner. He only does the bare minimum and turns on the washing machine if his wife has already put the laundry in, but he doesn’t take it out or hang it up to dry.
She admitted that she bears all the responsibility for family planning on the weekends, so much so that she hates her husband and hopes that one day he will simply leave the family.
However, in their relationship it was not always the case that she gave 100% and her husband gave nothing at all.
“We talked and talked and made sure we weren’t one of those couples where the mom is overworked and irritable and the husband acts like a baby. And guess what: I’m that exact stereotype after a year and a half of not making it work,” she continued.
Most mothers are often responsible for taking on the majority of household and childcare tasks.
According to a Pew Research Center survey, about six-in-ten (59%) say the mother plays a larger role in organizing her children’s schedules and activities, while only 5% say the father does more, and 36% say the parents share these responsibilities equally. Mothers also tend to take on more household chores and duties; 41% of married or cohabiting parents say this is the case in their household, compared with just 8% who say the father does more. Half say they and their partner share household chores and duties about equally.
Renee Reina, a content creator and mother, explained in an episode of her podcast “The Mom Room” that, in general, it is women and mothers who use the best parenting strategies for their children compared to men and fathers.
“Most of the time, it’s moms who follow parenting accounts and listen to parenting podcasts. So we’re collecting all these tools to help us deal with certain situations with our kids – whether it’s a meltdown, a tantrum, or bedtime issues.”
In an interview with HuffPost, Reina added, “It becomes problematic when your partner doesn’t do that or isn’t interested in parenting issues. And then you basically have to teach them everything you’ve learned so that you’re both on the same page.”
This exhausted mother admitted that she was “drowning” because of her husband’s lack of initiative.
She admitted that her husband is not aggressive or mean, but simply indifferent and distant, which makes him even worse as he is completely oblivious to the needs of his family and his wife. She has told him countless times that she feels like she is drowning if he does not take some of the burden on himself, but instead places it entirely on her.
“I can’t be the only one caring,” she wrote. However, her insistence that he should be more attentive fell on deaf ears. He hasn’t changed and it just becomes endlessly frustrating trying to get him to do so. Unfortunately, this is a problem that many women and mothers can very well relate to. An equal partnership means that no one in the relationship is tasked with wearing themselves out when they should be receiving help and support.
Nothing is more telling than a wife who feels like the family’s hired nanny. She, like any other wife, should not be tasked with sacrificing her mental health just because her husband doesn’t realize he needs to step in.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news and lifestyle writer whose work explores current issues and experiences.
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