Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce and “hard launch summer”
Travis Kelce accompanies Taylor Swift on stage in London
Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce appeared in a suit and top hat and surprised 89,000 fans at Wembley Stadium.
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are together. And by that, we mean that she’s finally posting photos of him on her Instagram profile. They haven’t shied away from public displays of affection until now – but this is different.
This phase is what is commonly referred to as the “hard start”: the time when a couple says, “You know what? Yes, we’re together and we don’t care who knows it!” Of course, when it comes to celebrities, everyone is sifting through dozens of breadcrumbs to find evidence about their lives as soon as a rumor appears in the tabloids. It’s even more serious when a celebrity posts something or, as in Swift’s case, even brings it on stage with them during her Eras tour.
And it’s not just Swift and Kelce – pop star Sabrina Carpenter decided to feature alleged suitor (or rather, not so alleged) Barry Keoghan in her latest music video for No. 1 hit “Please Please Please.” What’s more, Keoghan only follows one person on Instagram: Carpenter.
We’re in the era of the “rough start summer,” and therapists say celebrities have countless reasons to pull that proverbial trigger. But whether it’s a carefully chosen moment or an impulsive display of love, you can’t unring that bell.
“Every aspect of the relationship can become the subject of public criticism, putting the couple in the spotlight and creating pressure to be seen as a healthy couple,” says Jeff Guenther, licensed professional counselor and author of “Big Dating Energy.” “You also expose yourself to increasing criticism.”
Does Taylor Swift feel “safer” with Travis Kelce?
The butterflies in your stomach. The huge lump in your throat. The unsexy sweat dripping from your forehead. Dating is difficult no matter who you are, especially in the beginning until you decide to tell people. Multiply that by a multiple and you might find yourself empathizing with celebrities.
“When we introduce someone as our partner, we expect that we have vetted that person,” says Kimberly Vered Shashoua, a licensed clinical social worker who often works with people in their first relationship. “It can be embarrassing to have to go back to friends, family and Instagram and tell them about a breakup.” Think of all the couples, celebrity or not, who never announce anything. Often, it’s a matter of self-preservation.
“People with critical friends and family members are more likely to want to keep their relationship a secret,” says Shashoua. “Taylor Swift has written songs about her breakups, which has prompted some media outlets to make nasty comments. I can understand why Taylor didn’t want media outlets that claim she ‘can’t keep a man’ to comment on her latest relationship.”
Has her attitude about how much she wants to share on social media changed? It’s hard to say for sure, but “it could be because she’s feeling better about her fame and/or becoming more confident and caring less about what people think,” says Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker. “Or it could be that the change is because she feels more secure in that relationship.”
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Who controls the narrative? It depends
Still, it’s easy to understand why celebrities want to flaunt their relationships. They’re just like everyone else. It feels good to be in love.
“When we have confidence in our partner, it can feel great to show them off,” says Shashoua. “It’s much easier to be honest with our friends and family than to have them come on to us. When we’re active on social media, it can feel weird to hide such a big part of our lives.” Keoghan’s exclusive following of Carpenter is a clear commitment. Carpenter, on the other hand – as she sings in “Please Please Please” – just hopes her new lover (in the song, but, come on) doesn’t embarrass her.
A hard start works even better if you are a public figure because then you can control how and when people find out about it – and most importantly, before the tabloids do.
“Celebrities may have more control over the narrative, which could reduce speculation and gossip,” says Guenther. “Although it’s probably more of an illusion of control, I could imagine it still has a positive effect on their overall mental health.”
More about this music video: Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan are chaotic lovers in the music video “Please Please Please”
Risks, benefits of authenticity
People have to weigh the benefits and risks of authenticity. These “depend on what celebrities get out of it, what impact it has on their personal and professional lives, and whether their choices are consistent with their personality and core values,” says Ahrens.
No matter who you are, a rough start involves giving up parts of yourself. Ahrens adds that you may receive “unwanted attention” or face “constant boundary violations.”
It could even be a business strategy: “By talking openly about their relationships, celebrities can build a deeper connection with their fans. This strengthens their parasocial relationships and most likely leads to more sales or followers,” says Guenther.
It’s a decision that needs to be made carefully and with a lot of thought. And if the couples who have grown so close together today fall apart, let’s hope for a soft landing.
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