Self-published author fears his book will never become popular

Dear Eric, I’m a self-published novel author. I really struggle with jealousy and despair. Every time I see a book published or walk into a bookstore, I get this wave of sadness. I try to get the word out about my books, get as many reviews as possible, and get myself on social media, but it feels impossible.

A friend just told me that she won’t try a new author unless they have thousands of good reviews on Amazon or GoodReads. My last book got about 20 good reviews after weeks of trying. How do I continue? How can I redirect my thoughts when jealousy/despair hits me?

– Exhausted Author

Dear author, I fear you are measuring your successes by someone else’s standards. You have published a book. At some point in the past, that was The goal. So you have already achieved a metric of success. Of course, we all dream of recognition, but these dreams are so rarely the right size. Do you want to be a famous Author or do you want to be an author who reaches readers who appreciate him?

This is a profession where envy lurks around every corner, but the success of others doesn’t diminish us. You’re not competing with other writers, but with your own expectations. Ask yourself: If you got thousands of reviews, would that be enough? You’re already enough, so let’s reframe your goals so you feel that way more often.

Your friend has the right to her own selection process, but thousands of reviews is an unrealistic number. To reach that number, any author, even the Emily Henrys and John Grishams, needs the support of dozens if not hundreds of people at major publishing houses. In the meantime, you’ve worked your ass off and gotten those 20 reviews yourself. That’s great!

If there’s a writer whose career you’d like to emulate, reach out to them to find out how they got to where they are now. But make sure the comparison helps you. As writer Freddie DeBoer pointed out in a recent edition of his Substack newsletter titled “Publishing Is Designed to Make Most Writers Feel Like Losers, Even If the Industry Makes Money,” “Writing is also a deeply personal endeavor, and so rejection by the various apparatchiks who decide who belongs and who doesn’t can feel particularly cruel.” Think carefully about whose recognition you want (hopefully your own) and what you want to accomplish. Remember that the writers you’re seeing may have different goals than you, and probably feel the old jealousy, too.

Finally, it’s important to build relationships with independent booksellers and librarians. Get to know the ones in your area. Even if you only publish e-books, these professionals can help you understand the decision-making processes that lead readers to books and ultimately to those online review sites.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rricthomas.com.