Death threats and imposter syndrome: Social media star Carrie Berk on dealing with fame and success

Being thrust into the spotlight is hard to deal with as an adult—but it’s even harder for a child still trying to figure out their place in the world. That was the reality for Carrie Berk, who co-authored a series of children’s books with her mother in 2012 when she was just 8 years old.

Fast forward to 2024: She is now a 21-year-old journalist and social media influencer with nearly 4 million followers on TikTok.

We spoke candidly with the New Yorker about the pressures and consequences of success at a young age, touching on everything from unworthiness to trolling and how she looked within to change her outlook on life.

In the shadow of her mother

Berk has published three novel series (Fashion Academy, Ask Emma And The Cupcake Club), the latter of which sold over 300,000 books worldwide. But instead of giving her confidence, these early successes filled her with a feeling of worthlessness.

“One personal insecurity I have is that an eight-year-old can’t publish a book on her own; she needs help,” she says. “The negative voice in my head always said, ‘Without your mommy behind you, you’re nothing… you’ll never have your own voice as a writer… you’ll always be in her shadow.'”

But Berk did not let this inner critic deter her and proved the opposite with the publication of her own solo book: My real-life romantic comedy: How to build confidence and write your own relationship rulesa coming-of-age guide for everyone who needs authentic advice on the subject of love and heartbreak.

“If I ever doubt myself, I just look at my book and my name,” she says. “I did this all on my own and I should be proud of it. People can think what they want. What matters is what you think about yourself.”

The trolls came out

Living during a global pandemic has taken a significant toll on the mental health of adults and children. The National Institute of Health found that nearly half of Americans surveyed experienced symptoms of an anxiety or depressive disorder. Berk was unfortunately among the unlucky half.

“It was in the middle of the pandemic, so I already had a lot going on. I was a graduating class of 2020; no prom, no graduation ceremony. It was a really tough year for me,” she explains.

During this time, her social media presence skyrocketed. Yet while she found a dedicated audience who loved her lighthearted lifestyle content, there were some who were hell-bent on bringing her down. One notable troll, Berk recalls, was a 12-year-old who repeatedly told her to “DIY” via direct message.

Berk had never dealt with the physical symptoms of anxiety before (she even thought it might have been COVID-19), so she was surprised when she began experiencing them intensely. “It became so debilitating,” she says. “My heart was constantly racing, I couldn’t breathe, I wasn’t hungry.” It wasn’t until she spoke to her mother and a therapist that she found out she was struggling with the side effects of anxiety and OCD.

Giving meaning to pain

The turning point for Berk was the realization that fears cannot be cured, but must be managed. “The more time passed, the more I realized that I could manage my fears and that they would change and manifest in different ways.”

Now she’s trying to use her disorder for good. The final chapter of her book is all about self-love and her journey with anxiety to show others they’re not alone. “I took something painful and turned it into art that can help people,” she says. “When I hit that low point in my life and realized I could love myself in that dark place, I knew I could give love to others.”

We interviewed Carrie Berk for Question your perception boxa Big Think interview series in collaboration with Unlikely collaborators. As a creative non-profit, their mission is to help people challenge their perceptions and expand their thinking. Often, this growth can start with just a single unlikely question that makes you rethink your beliefs and adjust your point of view. Watch Berks Full interview above and visit Perception box to see more in this series.

CARRIE BERK: Why is this so hard? Oh! I did it. Right now, when I opened the thing.

Hi, my name is Carrie Berk. I’m a writer, journalist, and social media influencer. I have nearly 3.9 million followers on TikTok and just released my debut solo book, My Real-Life Rom-Com.

Hmm. So, I was sitting on the couch one night, eating a cup of cereal, watching TV, and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. It was the middle of the pandemic. Class of 2020, no prom, no graduation party. It was a really rough year for me from the start. And then I was suddenly internet famous, and I realized how cruel people can be. I mean, 12-year-olds were sending me death threats in my DMs.

For a while, anxiety was just butterflies in my stomach before an exam. As an artist, I used to get butterflies in my stomach before I went on stage. But I realized it was much more than that. It can be so painful and debilitating. My heart was constantly racing. I couldn’t breathe. I wasn’t hungry. I constantly had these intrusive thoughts in my head that I couldn’t escape.

I had been looking for a light switch that would just turn off the anxiety, and I think it was at that moment, about six months into therapy, that I realized I wasn’t going to get better. The only thing that was going to change was the way I responded to it. And don’t get me wrong, I’m still learning about anxiety and OCD as new symptoms arise, but I understand it better now than I did before.

I take everything personally all the time. I’m so oversensitive, I overreact to everything. I’m blaming myself right now. It’s so bad. I worry too much about every single situation.

So I started writing when I was eight. I have written 21 children’s books with my mother. One of my personal insecurities is that an eight-year-old cannot publish and write a book on her own, as if she needs help. This negative voice in my head always said, “Without your mother behind you, you are nothing. You will never have your own voice as an author. You will always be in her shadow.” All these voices often get in the way.

I mean, I’m very grateful for the experiences I had with my mom, but at the end of the day, I’m not an 8-year-old writing about cupcakes anymore. I’m a 20-year-old young woman going through this crazy world of growing up. I talk very openly about my first heartbreak when I found out he was breaking up with me – and it almost felt like a form of grief. I just couldn’t stop sobbing. And it sounds silly because I was 16, but at the time it felt so real and heartbreaking. I’d never been through anything so profound.

When we talk about our problems in an authentic way, it can really help and connect with people because then they can empathize with you and be honest with you. What was it like when I got my heart broken? What was it like when I fell to my knees, everything blurred and my fingers went numb? It’s a feeling that many 16-year-olds who have been in love can relate to.

When I wrote my book, I realized that I was a good writer on my own. I realized that I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. And even though I love my mother and respect her and her work, I’m good on my own too.