I lost the love of my life – I am devastated

DEAR ABBY: I was married to a wonderful woman for 27 happy years until she passed away last year. We did everything together. Now I feel lonely and depressed. We had a sweet furry guy named Maxx who was our everything. I lost Maxx a few months ago and I am devastated.

I am a very hardworking man. After losing my family, I feel lifeless – like the life has been sucked out of my body. My colleagues tell me I need to start dating and keep going. It’s not that easy. Is this normal?

I’ve been doing grief therapy but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I’ve tried signing up for a dating site but it’s a disaster. Most women are greedy or only interested in one-night stands. I only like curvy ladies. I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone intelligent or reasonable. What do you suggest? — UNHAPPY IN OREGON

DEAR ANGER: Please accept my condolences on the loss of your dear wife. I am sure she is irreplaceable. The loss of Maxx, your furry friend who provided you with emotional support, has only added to your loss. Since the grief counseling you have received has not helped, it may be time to see another therapist. Do not start dating until you are emotionally stronger.

If you contact “curvy ladies” just because of their looks, that may be why you encounter “gold diggers or women who are only interested in flirting.” You will meet intelligent and sensible women if you specifically look for ladies with these qualities. If you do, you may be surprised to find that some of them are curvy. But please make “curvy” the third item on your list.

DEAR ABBY: I have an acquaintance who I became friends with 20 years ago through a mutual friend. The acquaintance now lives in another state. She is a take-anything and talker and I have nothing in common with her. She made anti-Semitic comments that left me speechless and unable to respond. I regret that I could not speak at the time.

This woman stayed at my house a few years ago, which was awkward and uncomfortable. I responded to her texts out of politeness. I have not contacted her. She just contacted me to say she is visiting my state in two months. I do not want to meet with her, but I responded that we could meet closer to the date.

I don’t want her to stay over. I would be OK with lunch, even though she’s stingy and would try to get me to pay for it. I like how you find the right words when responding to difficult situations. What’s your advice, please? — TIMID IN COLORADO

DEAR SHY: Show some backbone. You should not have told this woman that you would decide whether to take her in “just before she arrived”. Inform her Now that you will not be available when she is in your state or that you will end up hosting her. If she pressures, tell her that you have grown apart and are going in different directions. Then wish her well, say goodbye and stop responding to her attempts to contact you.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.