Barbara and David Trafford’s 50-year love story began with a look, a gin and tonic on a terrace, a European tour and two marriage proposals.
The Collingwood couple celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with friends and family in a neighbor’s backyard last weekend.
Both Barbara and David can hardly believe that it has been 50 years since their wedding in North Toronto in 1974.
“It happened so quickly,” said David.
“It amazes me that 50 years have passed,” Barbara said, snuggling up to David on a sofa in her living room.
Barbara and David met in their twenties at the Royal Canadian Yacht Club. Barbara was already working as a teacher and at the Yacht Club. David had finished university and was planning a relaxing summer, but reluctantly took a job his brother had arranged for him at the club.
Barbara saw David the day he came in for his interview and waited until he started his shift so she could sit on the terrace and order a gin and tonic from him. At a social gathering for employees of the Yacht Club, David and Barbara sat together.
“We spent the evening chatting and after that we were together forever,” said David.
Barbara traveled to Europe with a friend in September and David met her in Rome, where he proposed to her for the first time.
“She said no,” David said. “I was surprised.”
However, he did not let himself be discouraged and asked again a short time later, this time in Florence.
“I wanted my own David statue, so I said yes,” Barbara joked.
The couple married the following summer and spent their honeymoon camping in Quebec, equipped with all the gear given to them by their wedding party guests. They still use the Coleman stove they were given at that party 50 years ago.
Both David and Barbara worked as teachers in Toronto during the first decade of their marriage. They had three sons, including twins.
The births of their children remain significant moments in their marriage. David remembers the call he received at work after Barbara learned she was having twins for the second time.
While living in Toronto, the Traffords made regular trips to Blue Mountain; their parents were members of the Craigleith Ski Club.
“Our plan was like everyone else in Toronto who wanted to go skiing: they got in the car on Friday night, drove north and came back on Sunday,” David said.
However, one trip did not go entirely smoothly and required a reconsideration of the plan.
“We were there with our three boys, Barbara’s mother and the two of us, a full car, and we had an absolutely horrific drive in a snowstorm,” David recalled.
They decided not to do that again.
“I said, ‘Plant and water me, because we’re not leaving Collingwood,'” said Barbara, who was a French teacher and had no problem finding a job locally.
The next weekend they looked at houses and bought their first home in Collingwood on Ste. Marie Street. They later owned and operated A Fine Place Bed and Breakfast on Cedar Street and now live on Dillon Drive.
The name of the B&B and David’s home improvement business “a fine man” is derived from David’s regular and positive answers to life’s questions.
“His favorite word is always ‘good,'” Barbara said. “What do you want to do, bike ride or hike? ‘Good.’ What do you want for dinner? Lasagna? ‘Good.’ For 50 years, everything was good.”
“Our three boys are doing well, and our five grandchildren are doing absolutely well,” Barbara said. “Everyone is doing well. Life is good.”
“It’s the best word to use,” Barbara said to David.
David became a founding member of the Collingwood Optimist Club and remains a member today. He has been a local teacher for almost every grade and special education class and has also worked in administration as an assistant principal. He continues to be a diligent volunteer with the Optimist Club, 100 Men Who Care and their two churches. They are also members of two PROBUS clubs which keep their schedules full.
Barbara has taken on a part-time position after giving up her teaching positions at the Cheese Gallery, Crave and as an ambassador for the former Club Intrawest.
In addition, she has volunteered in hospitals for over ten years and is a member of the former Quota Club, a service club dedicated to raising funds and supporting the hearing impaired community.
Their marriage was filled with unforgettable moments and adventures, such as their 25th wedding anniversary trip to France, the birth of their children and grandchildren, moving to Collingwood, running a B&B, family trips and much more. Precious times are always full of people.
“What’s meaningful? Spending time with each and every family member and friend,” Barbara said. “We’ve just lived every day to the fullest, or at least tried to. Except now, when we take a nap!”
The secret to their 50-year happy marriage is mastering life as a team.
“Barbara is very personable, so it’s easy to spend time with a person you like,” David said. “And we also share… there’s no real power structure… we might joke back and forth and argue a little bit about what to do, but in the end we’re pretty compatible, so I think it’s made it easy for us to make those big decisions.”
“And Barbara still laughs at my jokes, so that’s a big deal.”
Barbara said it is important to be patient and to remember the good times when needed.
“I would say let go of things if you’re not happy right now,” she said. “And be grateful.”
Romance also seems to play a role in their 50-year marriage.
Barbara keeps a letter she wrote to the local newspaper on Valentine’s Day in which she describes how much she loves David.
“Somehow, amidst the sleepless nights, the processions to the emergency room, and the organized chaos of everyday life, David manages to give me a love that is as honest and refreshing as the day we married,” Barbara wrote in the 1982 letter. “Of course, David has his faults, but they are insignificant in the face of his generous, loving nature.”
As proof of the truth of Barbara’s letter, next to the newspaper clipping on the refrigerator hangs a smaller newspaper clipping, a classified ad purchased by David with the words “Barbara Darling, you are my forever Valentine! Love, David.” The letter and classified ad are framed by a red heart cut out of construction paper by a grandson that had become crumpled over the years on the refrigerator in a well-used kitchen.
David and Barbara encourage each other to try new things and meet new people.
“Exercise is lotion!” shouts Barbara.
“It’s so important to bring love and joy and receive love and joy,” Barbara said. “I think everyone puts a lot into their lives, or at least they try to, there are ups and downs. I think we need to keep the world positive and, you know, find joy and love.”
