Book public: “Getting to Know Death” by Gail Godwin

Gail Godwin can look back on a long career as a writer that began with her first novel. The perfectionists, was published in 1970. Her most recent novel from 2020 is entitled Old Lovegood girlsShe has now published 12 novels, two short story collections and non-fiction books.

When she was almost 85 years old, the successful author suffered a serious fall right in front of her house. She was just about to water a dogwood in her garden and stumbled. She broke her neck.

Due to the serious injury, she had to spend a long time in a rehabilitation facility. She could no longer live as independently as before. She had to rely on the help of nurses and others.

And yet, even as she lost her autonomy and the routine of her daily life at home, she remained somehow curious about everyone around her, including the nurses, doctors, and roommates – and about her past.

Unbelievable but true: She begins to search the small and confined space of her small room in rehab for stories – new ones, but also memories and past experiences.

What emerges from so much time to remember and reminisce is her latest book Getting to know death: a meditation.

We learn a lot about her childhood, her family and friendships.

She remembers Pat, her childhood friend. She thinks about people. But she also thinks about poetry and poets – Phillip Larkin is one of them. She ponders Henry James, Samuel Beckett and her own creative work.

We see that even though she may not be able to move as much as she once did, she is still fully present – ​​alive, alert, creative.

In the book, Getting to know death: A meditation, Gail Godwin meditated on many things, including, yes, death, but also life. Life.

The book is partly an epistolary story in that we are given insight into the letters Godwin sends to Pat – even after Pat’s death.

Godwin writes at the beginning of his book: “I have been close to people who one day found themselves in a desperate situation and could no longer get out.”

She recalls a time when she wrote a letter of condolence to a young man whose father (a man who had helped her build her house) had died. The man had committed suicide. She describes how difficult it is for her to say anything comforting, positive or hopeful. She had no words for that at all – but she had words.

In the letter to her son, she writes: “No, you will never get over it, but the time will come when you will be glad that you do not get over it, because the loved one remains alive in your heart while you continue to grapple with the who and why of his existence.”

Godwin also tells stories from when her father and half-brother were also in these “desperate” places.

Unfortunately, Godwin was there once too. She tells a story about a time when she was 18, a good student – but with no hope of going to college. She felt a sad hopelessness when she learned that other girls in her class were on their way to prestigious universities. She feels completely alone.

This leads to a crisis of faith when Godwin realizes that God “has ceased to be the attentive heavenly Father who is always aware of me.”

From then on, reading and writing become a way for her to feel in control of her life. As she investigates life’s difficult puzzles, she finds words to be the softest landing.

This slim book is a very rich autobiography. It is poignant and moving. We see the author struggling to continue living a creative life and finding new ways to hold on to the passions of a long life and shape them in a way that allows her to continue writing stories with new beginnings – but also with endings that she can continue to accept through her thoughtful meditation.

No spoilers, but Godwin survives the dogwood tree—the one she was watering when she fell and broke her neck.

Even though she cannot see the hand of God in the events she documents surrounding her accident and the year that followed, we do see how her reflections on life help her to learn about death, to face it, to overcome it – and to find an answer to the question of how she can go on living.