What does it even mean to be female?

God-given femininity.

The concept alone seems to ignite a powder keg of emotions.

For centuries, the beauty of God-given femininity has been attacked, its definition debated, and its behavior questioned. Secular humanism has sought to destroy the beautiful model of femininity and transform it into an equal model of masculinity. And today it has gone a step further and demands the acceptance of non-binary sexual identity.

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With all this confusion in society for so long, it’s no wonder that this debate has trickled down to the youngest members of society – our children. This is no accident. Such is sin. Satan is in it for the long haul, and he delights in the rejection of the divine gifts our Creator has given us. As Christians, we must join in this debate and end it once and for all, at least in our minds. Regardless of what society says, what the media portrays, and what influencers do, Scripture is clear: There is a difference between men and women, and it is worth celebrating!

Often a woman determines her level of femininity by her personality and her inclination toward certain behaviors. My sister often said, “I’m a tomboy.” She loved horses and nature. She was less interested in makeup and dolls and more interested in biology and mechanics. Today she wonders if cultural pressures encouraged her to release her femininity and embrace a more masculine stereotype. Despite her penchant for “tomboy” hobbies and interests, she also displayed very feminine traits and behaviors. These included the very behaviors clearly defined in Scripture as a woman’s true nature: relationship-oriented, nurturing, vulnerable, a love of beauty, and a desire to respond.

This is what makes a woman of God. The well-known verses from Proverbs 31 speak of the woman who expresses her God-given femininity through her character. The verses assert that this type of character is hard to find, but when found, its value is far greater than jewels. This woman is trusted by her husband and supports his work. Later in the Scripture, the Lord promises that because of her relational, caring nature, her children will rise and bless her.

Biblical womanhood is not a personality trait or a list of flashy hobbies. It is the essence of every woman. God created women to be relational, caring, and vulnerable beings. Just like man, woman was created to have a relationship with her Creator and to be led and directed by the Holy Spirit.

If you find that your girl would rather spend an afternoon fishing than at a nail salon, remember: God gave her the spirit of womanhood, she doesn’t have to conform to the worldview to prove it! In fact, it’s exactly this cultural premise that as a woman you can only enjoy “feminine” things that is hurting our girls. Our hobbies don’t define our identity, our nature, our essence – God does.

To help your girl discover her identity and embrace her God-given femininity, you must first build confidence. Of course, God calls the equipped, but most of the time, God equips the called. This, for your girl, is what God has called you to do.

It’s time to answer the call. Immerse yourself in the Word, build community, and rely on your trusted people when needed. We are not meant to go it alone, after all, you know the age-old saying: it takes a village to raise a child. Another piece of good news? God’s church is that village. As Christians, we are part of a centuries-old network of families raising their children in our faith tradition – rely on your faith community and ministries to build your personal village.

God-given femininity needs no discussion. It is a gift that, if freely accepted, will benefit a woman throughout her life, whether she wears high heels and enjoys shopping or serves the hungry in jeans and a comfortable T-shirt.

I pray that each girl will know that she is beautifully and wonderfully made. That through her unique gifts and personality she will embrace her femininity and become a Christ-following servant leader who is honorable, relationship-oriented, Christ-anchored, and competent: a woman of integrity.