Chris Allen overcame obstacles before leading Diverse & Resilient
When Chris Allen came out to his parents at 15, he was ridiculed and left homeless. Today, he is the CEO of the organization that showed him understanding and acceptance.
Chris Allen still vividly remembers the rejection he felt when he revealed his sexual orientation at the age of 15. He tells this story two decades later to give hope to today’s teenagers. There is love and acceptance and people who help. He knows this from experience. Today he runs an organization that showed him the way.
His coming out took place during a heated argument with his stepfather, when his stepfather insisted that Allen get a girlfriend and prove his masculinity through a sexual relationship with a woman. “I just blurted out that I’m not with a woman because I’m gay,” Allen recalls.
Allen’s stepfather reacted with immediate hostility. He declared that he would not raise a gay son and often spoke disparagingly of him. His mother remained silent, but her silence conveyed a powerful and equally hurtful message. When he told his biological father a week later, his father resorted to physical punishment. He forced Allen to go to church and pressured him to repent.
“There was a lot of resentment in both places. We didn’t have a good relationship and I didn’t want to live there anymore,” Allen said.
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He became homeless, sleeping on the couches of friends and men who took him in. Allen, now 37, said he felt trapped. He felt like no one understood him or cared enough to talk to him about his feelings. He longed for someone to tell him they loved him and accepted him for who he was.
Unfortunately, Allen’s experience remains prevalent today. Of the 1.6 million homeless youth in the United States, approximately 40% identify as LGBTQ. Given that LGBTQ youth make up only 7% of the overall youth population, there is a notable imbalance in homelessness within this demographic segment.
A cousin brought him to a group that gave him love and acceptance
In addition, LGBTQ youth are at a higher risk of homelessness and tend to experience homelessness at a younger age. They also face numerous forms of discrimination and stigma, such as racism, sexism, abilityism and classism, in addition to homophobia and transphobia, according to Child Trends, a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lives of children and youth.
When Allen decided to leave home, he stayed in different places and used instant messenger to find places to go. Sometimes people let him sleep on their couch. Sometimes he found a comfortable bench in the park to sleep on.
During a period of couch-sleeping, he was confronted with instances where people demanded sexual favors from him in exchange for food and shelter. He was subsequently helped by an older man and he initially believed they were in a relationship. However, this man became physically abusive and inflicted serious injuries on Allen, which resulted in Allen being admitted to the emergency room. During one of the most difficult periods of his life, Allen attempted to take his own life.
With nowhere else to go, Allen returned to his father.
While at his father’s house, Allen started going to church again, but still felt out of place. It was only after a conversation with his cousin Melanie that he got the idea to find a way out. He mentioned that a good friend had become a youth counselor with a group called Diverse & Resilient. She did a little research and found that the group worked with a lot of young black and Hispanic gay youth. She encouraged him to get involved and even drove him to his first meeting.
Allen recalled sitting at a table with a group of LGBTQ youth at one of these meetings and realizing that in that room, every voice was valued and people could see him for the person he was, beyond his sexual orientation.
“It was eye-opening and made people feel comfortable with who they are,” Allen said.
In 2002, he became a youth advisor at Diverse & Resilient. Last year, he became president and CEO of the organization.
Despite progress, discrimination against LGBTQ persists
During Pride month in June, Allen stressed the importance of recognizing that while businesses, families and individuals are celebrating the LGBTQ community, there is still significant progress needed to be made in promoting acceptance and inclusion.
“Although the public has generally made progress, we still see a lot of discrimination against LGBTQI+ people, and it is disproportionately felt in communities of color,” said Allen, who is black himself.
Although many people of color support the movement, their ideologies are often questioned when it comes to individuals within their own families. This is especially true when it comes to the acceptance of transgender people.
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The social challenges faced by black LGBTQ people are reflected in black Americans’ attitudes toward gender identity issues, according to a 2022 Pew Research Center survey of U.S. adults.
The survey found that only 13% of non-Hispanic black adults believe that U.S. society is very or extremely accepting of transgender people. Moreover, opinions are divided among black adults when it comes to the level of societal acceptance. While 36% believe that society has not progressed far enough in accepting transgender people, 31% believe that the current level of acceptance is adequate, and 29% believe that it has gone too far.
In addition, about 41% of black adults think opinions on transgender people and issues are evolving at the right pace, while about 34% think they are changing too quickly.
Leading Diverse & Resilient – for Allen the circle closes
Allen was working with the Texas Department of Health Services to evaluate HIV programs to reduce disparities when he got a call about an open position as CEO of Diverse & Resilient. Allen applied, and during the interview, he knew this was his dream job.
Gary Hollander, founder of Diverse & Resilient, said Allen’s appointment as CEO was a new high point, recalling how Allen joined the organization in 2002 as a shy, intelligent youth who found his voice during a summer internship.
“He is exceptionally intelligent and skilled at leading programs and people,” Hollander said.
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Hollander, 75, fondly recalled Allen’s advice to leaders on how to effectively communicate with youth about health and safety. He also recounted how Allen helped develop activities that adapted nationally recognized, evidence-based prevention measures to engage local youth in life-saving programs.
“We are fortunate to have him back. I am absolutely thrilled. As a Black man, he is deeply committed to social justice, which is the foundation of Diverse & Resilient’s mission,” Hollander said.
Allen is married and has two sons, aged 8 and 13. And despite initial silence and rejection, Allen has a good relationship with his mother, even though his father is still in the development phase.
Since accepting the role, Allen’s primary goal has been to provide funding that closes the many gaps in services to the community. He has also turned his attention to the social determinants of health.
The key is to gain and work with allies, engage the community and unlearn the racism and sexism that are part of our society as a whole, he said.
When Allen struggled with homelessness as a teenager, Diverse & Resilient offered him acceptance and family. As an adult, Allen is giving back what he was given: the ability to be free and to thrive.
To reach James E. Causey at [email protected]; follow him on X @jecausey.
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