“We will all be changed” by Whitney Pipkin

My grandmother died last year on her 96th birthday. When I got the call that the end was near, I rushed to my parents’ house in Tennessee. In those final hours before her death, we held her hands and sang hymns. We recited Bible passages she loved and talked about heaven. Late that evening, my grandmother died surrounded by family, friends, and a nurse who kept vigil by her side. “Precious is the death of his saints in the sight of the Lord,” I whispered, the room now silent as her labored breathing had disappeared.

A wave of conflicting thoughts swirled through my head. Death is natural. Death is a part of life. But death is also unnatural. It is an enemy. That is not right. My grandmother was a devout believer. Even though I knew she was with the Lord, I wasn’t sure how to feel about her death. It is a painful grief, even though it is grief with hope. But How do we grieve? What do we do with death – that which everyone experiences but none of us wants to endure? If death is a natural part of life, why are we so afraid of it?

In We are all changed: How encountering loved ones with death changes usJournalist Whitney Pipkin answers frequently asked questions about grieving the death of a loved one and coming to terms with our mortality. Death is a door that leads us to eternity, but it is also an enemy that will haunt humanity until Christ returns to lay them in his tomb.

We are all changed: How encountering loved ones with death changes us

Whitney Pipkin

We are all changed: How encountering loved ones with death changes us

Whitney Pipkin

Moody. 208 pages.

We will all be changed is a companion for those going through the lonely season of suffering and dying. In this book, Whitney reaches across the pages to hold the caregiver’s hand. Going through death with a loved one can be incredibly isolating and unsettling. This book reminds us that we can experience God’s presence in the dark and deep valleys of life. Drawing from her own experience, Whitney spreads light and hope. She shows that we are not alone. And she reveals the mysterious ways in which God sustains and transforms us through death and suffering.

Moody. 208 pages.

Theology of Death

It is tempting to cloak our feelings about death with cheery Bible verses and cheer up cliches. But if death is truly the enemy Jesus sought to destroy, then it is right to mourn its reach in this life. It is right to lament because death Is regrettable, even if one expects it. Pipkin writes: “There is no clear theology that can stop these tears from flowing. But our suffering in death need not be deepened by surprises” (33).

We all have to face our mortality. When we go through death with our loved ones, it is a test for our own step into eternity. If Christ does not return in our lifetime, will die. Developing a theology of death teaches us how to deal with grief and understand the hope of Christ’s return.

Following the path of our loved ones through death is a test for our own step into eternity.

Death is a consequence of sin. “For the wages of sin is death,” Paul argued (Rom. 6:23). But Jesus came to die to pay for our sins and give us the gift of eternal life. We still bear the curse of sin, but Christians no longer bear its condemnation, for Jesus has swallowed it for us and endured it victoriously (1 Cor. 15:54). Pipkin writes:

As Christians, we know that if Christ tarries, death will be the means of our redemption from this sin-soaked world and into His presence. We Welcome it because of that. But because of that, we can look him in the eyesWe can take death by the horns and say: “How am I supposed to live then?” (78)

By linking the inevitability of death and our victory over it in Christ –through it – we cast off our fear by numbering our days as we look forward to the imperishable.

Grief and hope

Her mother’s illness and death forced Pipkin to grapple with the Bible’s teachings about death – both as a curse and as a release from suffering. Pipkin’s mother was diagnosed with cancer at age 43. During her two-decade battle with cancer, she tried every possible treatment, clinical trial and new medication. She fought to give her children as much time with their mother as possible.

Nevertheless, the time was painfully short. “None of us has ever ready “I am not ready to witness the slow passing of a loved one or a sudden, shocking departure,” writes Pipkin. “No – the loss of my mother on this earth has opened a chasm in me that will never close. At 33, I was far from finished being a mother. Now I see that I never will be” (26).

When a loved one dies, Pipkin notes, we have an opportunity to “show unexpected grace” by being with them in their final days. (27) We can be close to them and offer them the hope of the gospel, whether they are believers or unbelievers.

Once they are gone, however, we grieve in their absence. To grieve with hope is to examine God’s promises and to give weight to all the things we said we believed but only now, with the death of our loved one, dared to prove. In the hope of resurrection, all of God’s promises stand.

Death is not the end

As Pipkin walks us through her experiences as a caregiver, she paints a hopeful picture of what lies next for believers. The day of resurrection is approaching. These bodies, crushed under the weight of cancer, chronic pain, and age, will one day rise imperishable, just as Jesus did. The consolation in death is the hope of resurrection. Thanks to Jesus, death is not the end, nor is it a path we will walk alone. Pipkin writes, “Perhaps the greatest consolation Christians have in the face of death is that their God went first” (73).

To mourn with hope is to put God’s promises to the test and to give weight to all the things we said we believed but only now dared to prove through the death of the one we love.

We will all be changed is an honest book. Pipkin’s personal stories will touch anyone who has lost a family member. But it is also a hopeful book full of gospel, written with beauty and truth. After reading it, I fear death less but hate it more as an enemy. And I believe with all my heart that what Jesus accomplished on the cross and at the empty tomb means everything for our present comfort and future hope.

One day Christ will return, “and the dead shall rise incorruptible, and we shall be changed.” (1 Cor. 15:52) My grandmother, Pipkin’s mother, the faithful father you have lost, the church friend you miss, Me, YouYes, we will face death, but we will also all be changed.