Shane MacGowan’s widow talks about mutual infidelity and the “unglamorous” side of being with The Pogues singer – including being thrown off planes for being drunk

Shane MacGowan’s widow has spoken about the “unglamorous” side of being with The Pogues singer and how they survived infidelity in their nearly 40-year relationship.

Victoria Mary Clarke, 58, from Dublin, met her late husband for the first time at the age of 16 in December 1982 at the Royal Oak pub in north London.

The couple, who had an eight-year age difference, had been together since 1986 and married in 2018. They celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary just days before Shane’s death last year.

In the latest episode of the podcast “What a Woman,” Victoria spoke about their on-off relationship and how Shane was regularly attacked on the streets of London at the height of his fame.

Victoria, an artist and writer, spoke about the early relationship: “My life changed completely when I met him and it was as if this missing piece of my life had arrived.”

Victoria further explained that they felt a “pure, unconditional love” for each other, which meant they could “hold no grudges.”

She said: “We have both done things that would cause other couples to break up. Infidelity to each other – that is what most people would consider a deal breaker.”

“But we just loved each other absolutely, completely and utterly.”

Although Victoria did not go into detail about her infidelity, Shane told the Observer in 2000 that he had fathered a son with another woman.

When asked if he felt like a “bad Catholic” because he didn’t have children, the singer said: “I don’t know. I only know one. He’s a young man. He lives in Scotland. He knows where to reach me.”

“I saw him once when he was three. He knows I’m his father. Years ago, Lesley and I (the mother) agreed that he could visit me any time he wanted and I would take him for a drink and bring him anything he wanted. But she married a good man and he seems happy with him as a father.”

Elsewhere in the podcast, Victoria revealed that “anti-Irish” sentiments among people in Britain also made life difficult in the 1980s.

She said: “We were regularly physically attacked. I was used to expecting it. We might just be walking down the street and a couple of guys would jump up and start hitting him or fighting.”

“But he was a good fighter and always fought back with a lot of energy. I’ve never seen him defeated in a fight, but that was something I expected.”

In addition, Victoria also remembered that Shane “never looked decent,” which made hailing a taxi difficult.

She said: “He basically dressed like someone who lives on the streets. He always had holes in his clothes and holes in his shoes. He was covered in cigarette ash and vomit, so he never looked decent.”

“A lot of times taxi drivers would just drive by. So he had to hide and I had to stop the taxi and then he jumped out and the driver said, ‘No, buddy, you’re not getting in my taxi.'”

“We were thrown out of restaurants and airplanes. People took offense at him on the plane and said he had obviously been drinking so we had to get off and wait for the next plane. There was a lot of prejudice and a lot of challenges. It wasn’t all glamorous.”

In addition, Victoria also revealed that she was worried about Shane’s health for most of their relationship – as the singer suffered from health problems due to his years of alcohol and drug abuse.

The widow added: “This is something I was afraid of for a very long time, because right after we met (in the 1980s) people told me that he did not have long to live.”

“Most of the time I was worried about him and feared that something would happen to him.”

Not only was the singer confined to a wheelchair, she had also been battling viral encephalitis – a disease that causes inflammation of the brain – for eight years.

Although the singer had suffered from poor health for years, Victoria said Shane’s death from pneumonia still came as a shock to her.

She continued, “He never had a life-threatening or terminal illness, ever. So I fully expected him to recover, and he did.”

“I think that was probably good for both of us because we didn’t act like he was dying. We had a little fun in the hospital and he got along well with the staff, but he was excited to go home.”

When Victoria announced Shane’s death on social media, she wrote at the time: “I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to say it.”

“Shane, who will always be the light before my eyes, and the measure of my dreams, and the love of my life, and the most beautiful soul, and the most beautiful angel, and the sun and the moon, and the beginning and the end of all that is dear to me, has gone to be with Jesus, Mary, and his beautiful mother Therese.

“I am blessed beyond words to have met him and to have loved him and to have been loved so infinitely and unconditionally by him and to have been able to experience so many years of life and love and joy and fun and laughter and so many adventures.”

MacGowan was born to Irish parents in Kent on Christmas Day 1957. In his autobiography he describes the summers of his early childhood spent with his family on an Irish farm, where we drank, smoked and sang traditional songs.

“It was like living in a pub,” he told the Guardian in 2013.

After winning a scholarship to the prestigious Westminster School in London, MacGowan found it difficult to fit in. Two years later, he was expelled from school for drug use and began hanging out with other musicians in London bars.

At age 17, his alcohol and drug abuse contributed to a nervous breakdown and he was placed in a psychiatric hospital for six months.

After his recovery, he took part in the emergence of punk in London in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

In the late 1980s, he brought Irish folk music to a huge new audience by combining it with punk, and achieved mainstream success with his bittersweet, swear-filled Christmas anthem with the Pogues in 1987.

In a 2009 Guardian article, Victoria wrote: “When we were together, I felt like my own life was being consumed by his. That was a welcome feeling for me, as I would rather be living someone else’s life.”

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“I immediately took responsibility for his whims and problems and devoted myself to solving them, and was both his personal assistant and his lover. I adored him in every way possible.”

“In return, I felt like he gave me purpose and made me feel wanted. I belonged to him in a way that I never really belonged to my family.”

It was a long period of love between the couple, who only got engaged in 2007 and married 11 years later.

They tied the knot in Copenhagen City Hall in November 2018. Johnny Depp, Shane’s long-time boyfriend, played guitar during the simple ceremony.

Shane’s wife announced in 2016 that he was sober “for the first time in several years,” explaining that his drinking problem stemmed from years of “singing in bars and clubs where people go to drink and have fun.”

She claimed that his descent into alcohol addiction was caused by the use of hard drugs such as heroin.

The journalist said the singer became sober after a lengthy hospital stay during which he suffered from pneumonia and a hip injury, and Shane continued his path of abstinence even after returning home.

In an interview with the Irish Mirror, Victoria said she and Shane never had children together because they were too irresponsible.

She added that she was always afraid that the musician would burn down the house because he kept dropping cigarettes.

Shane suffered physically from the effects of years of excessive drinking and often appeared on stage drunk.

He started drinking at the tender age of five. His family gave him Guinness to help him sleep. His father often took him to the local pub where he drank with his friends.