Bridezilla, who did not want children at the wedding, threatened to throw out guests

Dear readers: To mark my final week of publishing Ask Amy, I’ve fired up the Ask Amy Wayback Machine and will be playing some popular, previously published questions and answers.

Below you will find my very first column, published in July 2003.

Dear Amy: I have a big problem that came up right before my wedding in Chicago. Children. I don’t want them at the wedding. Our invitation said adult ceremony, adult reception. We hired a nanny to take care of anyone who couldn’t find a babysitter.

Everyone respected our wishes and made alternative plans for their children, except for one person: my mother’s brother from LA.

Has a 7-year-old child. She grunted when I tried to place the child with a nanny.

Got an email from cousin (child’s 21 year old brother) saying they were upset that young child was excluded. Mother feels pressured to get her child in reception.

We – bride and groom – SAY NO!!!!! My fiancé’s brother’s children are not coming, nor are dozens of little cousins. We can’t make an exception for one child!!! Besides, we don’t want any children there!

Have we made a mistake in our attitude towards children? And what about my mother? She fears that all this could lead to a terrible rift between her and her brother.

I say HE is causing the argument, not her. He is not respecting our WISHES. We will not give in and invite him to the reception.

If they show up with him, do we have the right to ask them to leave? We will be so angry!

Please, please, please, please help.

– Riana

Dear Riana: The use of capital letters and a strange telegram writing style are the first indication that the bride is almost crazy.

I imagine it now: “With this ring I will… WHO LET THIS CHILD IN HERE?!”

You must take a tranquilizer before Bridezilla strikes again.

You have made your wishes known. Your guests should respect them.

However, if this is not the case, please do not add to your rudeness by trampling on small villages and spitting tongues of fire.

I urge you not to give this matter a moment’s more attention, for if you are not careful, this fuss will take up the whole day.

You know that there are so many things that you cannot control on your wedding day. Whether the best man gets too drunk, your new mother-in-law slips on the dance floor or the cake falls off its pedestal: enjoy this day, the guests, your new husband and your new life.

You can deal with your uncle later, but you are NOT allowed to take revenge on seven-year-olds, not even on rowdy brides.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or write to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter. @fragenamy or Facebook.

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