Growing up, but not regretting, with Lizzy McAlpine’s “Older”

“Older” by Lizzy McAlpine highlights the common struggle to find comfort as we leave our youth behind, shedding light on our fears and dreams in a ballad about the realities of life.

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Stream: “Older” – Lizzy McAlpine

IAfter the death of a teenager and the impending birth of an adult, we tend to fall back on the same deeply ingrained ideals: Who am I if not a reflection of what society expects of me, and where do I stand if I don’t meet the standard? Growth is confusing at its core, something tangible but definitive when observed.

Singer and songwriter Lizzy McAlpine understands the concept, appreciating age for what it is, but also recognizing the role that time can play on the mind – an awakening in itself that affects everyone but is recognized by only a few. In early February, “Older” is a highlight of their third studio album (also titled Older), approaches the intricacies of life, paying tribute to the past while pondering the maybes of the future.

Over and over
A carousel ride
Pay for your ticket
Watch the rise of the red moon
I feel sick
I can’t find the floor
Caught in a loop
Watch the curtain fall

It begins with a memory, not too clear but so universal that it plays in the minds of all listeners like a nod to the past. As the carousel waxes and wanes in the night sky, so does the nostalgia. You are transported into McAlpine’s mind, can see her wistful longing for what once was, and are drawn into your own emotional world as you come to terms with what could be. It’s an unravelling of our innermost fears and dreams, brought to the forefront to be examined, honored and released – all in 3 minutes and 21 seconds.

Thought it was over now
Thought you were leaving
Thought I was coming to my senses
I wish I was somehow stronger
I wish it were easy
Somewhere I lost all senses
I wish I knew how it ends

For McAlpine, this piano ballad was the beginning of a new era. As she moves from her youth into the long-lost adulthood that she describes as difficult to accept, she brings to light how difficult it can be to deal with the emotions embedded in memories on this journey. She accepts loss and love, and questions the fine line between the two that creates this unease in the constant spiral of life. The memories become poignant and inescapable as she mourns her youth; however, it is a nod to the lost time that is not so lost after all.

Over and over again, watch it all pass
Mom is getting older, I want it back
Where no one dies,
and no one is hurt
And I was good to you
instead of making it worse

In an interview with diversity Steven J. Horowitz, McAlpine notices her inability to grasp the concept of time – and finds a deeply emotional connection between her lack of control over it and her regret, which she finds difficult to come to terms with.

“Older” tells the story of that regret, anchoring it in her emotions while ushering in a maturity that she questions at the beginning of the song and accepts at the end. No longer bound by the same poignant memories, she lets her youth slip away so that sense of obligatory adulthood can be left behind. As the chorus repeats on a final note and said curtain begins to fall, a new chapter begins in the book of her life that she has long put aside – an awakening for all who share in the story.

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