The stories behind it: The wedding singer who also sings happy songs at funerals to celebrate life

How to say goodbye

She came to this realization a year ago when she attended the funeral of her friend’s mother.

“My boyfriend is a musician. He took out his guitar and started playing for his mother. It was his way of expressing his grief,” she recalls.

“Some of us musicians decided to sing along and perform, and we realized that music can be an outlet to express our true and raw emotions.”

They sang songs such as “When You’re Old” by Hong Kong singer and actress Karen Mok, the deceased’s favourite song. Ms Teh still remembers the relief the mourners seemed as they sang songs to honour the life of the woman they loved.

Back then, Ms Teh didn’t just sing at funerals. In addition to her work as a music teacher, she was and still is a singer at Musical Touch, a company founded by Mr Alvin Khoo that provides live music for weddings and events.

After this eye-opening funeral, Ms Teh decided to perform as a singer at more funerals.

Mr Khoo had decided to offer these services after attending a funeral where he noticed that some musicians had no professional training and only played sad songs. However, many of the musicians from his company, Musical Touch, were unwilling to sing at funerals.

To meet this demand, Mr Khoo founded his own company, which later became the Singapore Funeral Live Band.

“Most of the musicians I spoke to did not feel comfortable performing at funerals because death is a taboo,” he said, adding that some also felt uncomfortable performing religious rites.

“But we want to offer high-quality music at funerals that is captivating and allows families to say goodbye to their loved ones the way they want.”

Ms Teh, for her part, said she and her family and friends did not find it “pantang” (Malay for taboo) to sing happy songs at a funeral.

“See how everyone reacts to the music and how peaceful they feel after our performance. It’s a celebration of life where we can also pay our respects to our loved ones,” she added.

CELEBRATING LIFE

At these funerals, friends and relatives of the deceased can share the microphone with Ms Teh and sing along, and they can also express song requests using cue cards.

There are no rules about how people will react to the songs, Ms Teh said. Surviving relatives and friends can clap, dance, cry or do anything that allows them to express their feelings.

“Performing at funerals is a little difficult because I have to gauge the mood and understand what the family wants,” she said.

“There’s a whole range of possible emotions that you can’t predict, so you have to perform what suits the family.”

She added that the band had to be versatile to be able to play all the songs the family wanted, regardless of dialect or language.

When asked what the most interesting request was, Ms Teh replied that she was once asked to sing a birthday song.

“A family member’s birthday coincided with the funeral, so the family asked us to sing for them. It was really interesting to be part of a funeral and celebrate different stages of life at the same time.

“Whatever request we receive, we will do our best to accommodate the family’s wishes,” Ms Teh said.